Stories

Abuse and Thoughts of Suicide

By January 11, 2021No Comments

I’m 13 years old and up until, recently, my mom stopped hitting me but still yells at me for no apparent reason. Last month, I was just doing school work and wanted to take a little break. I watched less then ten minutes of YouTube and then she started coming out and yelling at me and then I said that I just watched watched a couple minutes of YouTube. She then decided that I was yelling back at her and then started saying that she won’t feed me. I emailed the PD and they brought someone over to talk to me. My mom told me to lie and I did not because I wanted to, but because if my mom went to jail, life would be so much harder for my dad. They brought a counselor over to talk to me and I told them that I had suicidal thoughts 1-2 a year when really it’s at least once a week. They then went on to tell my mom and after they left, my mom went into my room and started saying that she doesn’t care if I want to kill myself, just do it not in her house. So my dad had to come back from work to feed us. My dad gave me some grapes and then my mom started hitting me with a small pool stick and slapping me really hard and so I pushed her back and she started telling everyone that I started it. She started hitting me for eating grapes and I pushed her back as an act of self defense and then she started saying that what I did was wrong and she wants to be dead. It’s one month later and she still tells me I should die or go naked outside if I wanna run away. I really want to run away from home to make it easier for everyone around me. I wish I could just die.

 

HELP YOURSELF

  • Thank you for trusting Teen Central with your painful story. You have been under a lot of stress for a long time, and we hope you find support here to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
  • When you are feeling hopeless, or overwhelmed and you start thinking about ending your life, PLEASE CALL 1-800-273-8255 or text HELLO to 741741. Someone is ALWAYS there to listen and support you. Keep these numbers somewhere you can easily find them and use them. Your safety is important and we want you to be here.
  • We hear you that counselors and police have come to the house before, and this was chaotic and stressful. BUT, we also hear that you were honest with them about how often you think about killing yourself. PLEASE DON’T STOP TALKING. Everyone can sometimes make bad choices when they are stressed or being held responsible for the things they do. That doesn’t make it ok. It’s good that you speak up for yourself and your safety. Pick a trusted adult (like another family member, a neighbor, your teacher, your school counselor) and tell them again about what is going on at home. Could you find a safe place with a friend or other relative to go to until you can get things figured out at home?

CONSIDER THIS

  • It’s difficult to find words sometimes for stressful things in our lives. But it sounds like you have been able to talk about things and get the attention you need. Consider if there are other outlets that would help you continue to deal with your stress, including art, music, journaling. Check out the WHAT’S NEW section for information about using art as a coping skill as well as journaling.
  • Having a good support plan when you don’t always feel safe is a really important part of taking care of yourself. Check out the SUPPORT PLAN in the TOOLS section for help creating a plan that works for you.
  • Running away from home is a dangerous option, and won’t make things easy for you or anyone else. We hear you that life at home is really hard right now, but alone in the world on your own would be even harder. Instead of running away, is there a safe place that you can plan to go when things are too hard – like to a friend’s house, a neighbor, a church or other religious place, a community center? Having a place to go, and people to help, will keep you safe while still giving you the break from home that you’re looking for.
  • Telling people and reaching out for help in unsafe situations is very brave and you deserve to be treated like a human being with love and with kindness.