i’m not really sure where to go with this, so i’ll just ramble. for my whole life, i’ve had pretty bad anger issues, but recently, it seems as if i’m always mad about something. i’m literally looking for someone to tick me off in school so i can get into a fight and just release everything. i’m starting to be confused as to if i want to become violent or not. i’ve had a history of self-injury, and i’m not entirely sure if this is my way of coping with it now; subtly hurting others and destroying all communication with those around me. i don’t know what to do anymore.
- First and most importantly thank you for writing into Teen Central. Getting the courage to tell your story is a really important first step. It sounds like you are going through something tough right now, and I am happy that we are here to help you.
- Anger is a topic that many youth deal with. I would recommend that you take a look at some other stories on this site and also consider the advice that other counselors have given those writers. You may find this to be helpful for a few reasons. Most importantly it will remind you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
- Within our website there is a LEARN tab . From here you are able to go to the ANGER MANGAGEMENT portion of our website. I think that this would be a great place to start.
- Is there a trusted adult that you feel comfortable can talking to directly such as a parent, teacher, friend, mentor or coach? Sometimes getting something out verbally is a great way for us to vent, but also can limit the anger response that is occurring in those moments. While TeenCentral is always here for young people sometimes nothing beats a good old-fashioned face-to-face conversation.
- You mentioned that sometimes you have engaged in self injury. When you feel unsafe you may want to consider calling or texting a crisis line. The one we like to recommend to youth most often is the Crisis Text Line. Just text “hello” to 741741 and start a conversation. We always want you to stay safe.
- Some of the best ways that I have found to get my anger out is to meditate. I know that it sounds silly, but being able to center yourself when you are feeling that anger coming on is a great way to get some control (like the hulk) . If you take the time, teach yourself, and really look at what works I am sure you will find your niche. If you need help with these ideas you can go to the TOOLS part of our page and go to YOGA JOURNAL
- Writing can also be really beneficial in getting those negative feelings out of your mind and onto a page. It allows for your brain to process the information that it is attempting to, while calming you. Some of the things that may seem like big mountains may in fact be hills by the time that you are done processing. For more information about how journaling helps people cope with stress see this “what’s new” blog.
- Lastly, do your best to be active. Getting the anger out by running, or moving your body can really get rid a lot of the tension that may be building in these moments. Sometimes I push myself harder then normal at the gym when I am having a rough day, and feel so much better when I am done.
- When feeling the urge to self harm you may consider some calming techniques available in the LEARN subsection Wellness – Relaxation. Also in the TOOLS section there are many downloadables available that have to do with learning to be calm while under stress, getting better sleep at night, practicing yoga poses, using music to reduce your stress, etc.
- One of the most important things to do when you’re feeling stressed and may be considering self harm is to practice deep breathing. Check out this “What’s New” blog about breathing to calm anxiety to learn a technique called four square breathing. This technique can be applied in many stressful situations.