Stories

Everything Feel Like So Much

By April 10, 2021No Comments

the last time I wrote to this website, I got my ip pulled and got put in a mental institution. Ever since then, things have been different. It’s so hard to get out of bed sometimes. even when I am happy my dad just has to ruin it. for example, yesterday night I was at my weekly youth group. It was a make your own pizza night. The ladies working there knew I was on a diet and wouldn’t eat pizza, so they got me a fruit salad instead. It was very nice of them. I told my dad about it, and he instantly started saying stuff about how “isn’t that too much to ask of someone” etc. I didn’t even ask the girls to, they did it themselves. yet I instantly felt bad and felt the need to apologize, even though I’m pretty sure I didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes I feel like I want to go back to the mental institution. I honestly liked it there. I felt valid and appreciated. I met friends that were around my age and were as mature as me. It was nice.

HELP YOURSELF:

  • Thank you so much for reaching out to TeenCentral again! We’re happy you continue to reach out for support, and it sounds like you are fighting hard for yourself, even though things aren’t great right now, and that’s really important. You are not alone!
  • Besides this site, we hope you continue to keep other ways of getting help close at hand too. There’s lots of people out there, like us, that want you to know you can get through this difficult time! If you don’t have them stored somewhere already, put these numbers somewhere you can find them easily, just in case you ever need them – 1-800-273-8255 or text HELLO to 741741. And if you ever feel like you need to go back to the hospital to stay safe, it’s there for you anytime. Please tell someone right away or you can always call crisis services in your area or 911.
  • We’re so glad to hear you’re involved with a weekly youth group! Pizza night sounds like fun, and it sounds like the ladies running it are really nice. Did you consider introducing your dad to the ladies? Let them talk with him about what the group is about and maybe they can put his mind at ease that you’re not demanding fruit salad or other things, but instead that this is part of how the group takes care of each other. Maybe he’ll feel a little more at ease if he hears it from them. He may have jumped to conclusions about how that whole thing on pizza night happened.

THINGS TO CONSIDER:

  • We’re really glad that you’re time in treatment was helpful. Inpatient hospitalization is one way to get help when things are really spinning out of control, but definitely not the only way to keep feeling heard and finding people you like. Remember, just like you, the people you met at the hospital have lives and families and go to school and have hobbies way beyond the time they spend there. You may have some people in your life just as cool as them, and just haven’t realized it yet. Are there other activities like your youth group that you could get involved in to connect? A club, sports team, music or art group, theatre. Whatever it is you’re into – there’s a group for it! Sometimes it takes looking on the internet for groups in your area, or checking with your school, or your youth group to find out about them.
  • Consider making time every day to take care of yourself and do things that help you feel happy or calm. Check out our WELLNESS section in LEARN for information, and we have some tools about yoga like SUN SALUTATION and STRENGTH YOGA POSE that may help guide you to something new. Also, check out the MPE TOOLKIT in TOOLS that talks about ways to take care of your mental health just like we’re taking care of our physical health as we move through the pandemic.
  • Another important thing about getting treatment for things like Depression or Anxiety is to keep going. These are really tough things to overcome, but you can do it with time and support. If you haven’t already, check out our DEPRESSION and ANXIETY information in LEARN. Do you have a counselor or therapist to talk to since you left the hospital? If you haven’t followed up yet, there’s no time like the present! It’s ok to make feeling better a priority in your life – you deserve it!