Like when i do a chore or something my mom finds something wrong with it so at this point i just don’t feel motivated to do anything. also recent events just make my social anxiety even worse, now i don’t wanna say anything or look at anyone wrong because it’s going to be a problem. it’s me back again with the issue of the friendship breakup that happened at school. i heard a bit about it why, but not all so i still feel like i did something. now i think they are trying to turn all my friends against me because they’re talking to friends of mine they have never talked to before. i just don’t want this to happen, especially because i think i am a good person, so i’ve been told. i don’t want to get the rep of a bad friend because i’m genuinely not in my opinion. i just don’t get why they have to spread rumors when i never did something. is it wrong that i think if they are persistent on not telling me what i did; then i did nothing wrong? or is that untrue. i just really hope that i have some people on my side. my biggest fear is that i did do something, and they tell my friends even though i’ve been telling them that i didn’t do anything. it’s happened before and i can’t have everyone against me. it makes me sick and feel even more worthless and depressed. and the best part was they know i’m going through difficult family times right now and they decide to become the type of person they hate. really cool. i might be overthinking it but i really need to get it off my chest. it feels like i can’t love myself .
Ways to help yourself:
- Thank you for reaching out again to the TeenCentral community when you need support. It’s good that you recognize that help is out there for you. Did you ever consider that going through this change of friend group is just happening to make room for a new friend group that’s more fitting to the person you are becoming? That could be a great opportunity for you!
- As we mentioned, if you ever feel like the struggles you are experiencing are too much to handle, please remember there are multiple text, chat, call lines available for 24/7 support. We have many of them here -> HELP HOTLINES ON TEENCENTRAL
- We’re hoping since your last write in, that you’ve taken steps to talk and connect with trusted people in your own life. Especially when you are feeling the way you do, it’s important to use the supports around you to lean on and get through tough times.
Where to go from here:
- Take a breath. It’s good you’re acknowledging that you may be overthinking things as a result of the friend break-up that seemed to start this. Once one bad event happens, it’s easy to look at other things in your life in the same way and start to spiral into negativity. We love that you find it helpful to write into TeenCentral for support so it appears that writing can be a good outlet for you. Keep going with that.
- Here are some topics for your journal writing if you feel stuck: Journal Topics
- Have you taken time to do things or talk to people that make you feel happy? Maybe you can make a list of all these things / people so you always have it available. Then make sure to follow through – we still encourage you to take at least 10 minutes per day to talk to someone or do something that makes you smile or make you feel calm inside.
- Try to focus on the things you can control.
- Apologizing – If you discover something you feel you did wrong and do want to apologize, we suggest you take a look at this helpful tool: Apology Tool – This tool will help you form an apology that only takes responsibility for things that you did. It helps you work through the process of identifying those things and helps you remember the hallmarks of a good apology that will hopefully build back trust with friend you want to keep.
It’s easy to listen to gossip and rumors from people who no longer wish to be in your friend group, but that doesn’t mean those things are true. And if you are worried that you did make a mistake in the past, but don’t know what it is, the only thing you can do is focus on being the best version of yourself now.
- Good friends – What makes a good friend? You’re at a time in your life when you want to form friendships that you can keep long-term. Is it worthwhile keeping friends who play games with your emotions? Who expose your minor mistakes to others, or even make-up things that are lies about you just to tear you down?
You know, when people do that, it says more about them than it does about it you. It says that they are insecure about their own social standing. It says that they cannot be trusted with personal information. It says that they are immature and not ready for a real friendship. Even though they are gossiping about YOU, they are really telling everyone something about THEMSELVES. And the people out there that matter are going to hear it loud and clear.
- Loving yourself – What you are looking for is validation. Your feelings about this are completely valid. You are growing up and realizing that there is something very wrong and unjust about what is happening to you. Reflect on this more. Your next steps and decisions in life will be very important. Do you look backward and try to fix these broken relationships that other people have torn down? Your answer may be yes to some and no to others. Only you can decide. We suggest that using a tool like THIS might help as you are considering each person and whether or not they have a place in your life moving forward.
Remember this in general – “Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.” Wishing you all the best things. We know you can do it!
