Hi, I don’t know where to begin. This is a very real problem and I wish it was talked about more and it’s self esteem.
I know it seems like it doesn’t matter but how a person feels about themselves matters so much. I feel like I had a “glow up” not really but I feel better about myself from what I felt from nine months ago. nine months ago I refused to look in the mirror, I hated going outside, and hated how I looked in the camera roll. My grades started dropping but everyone thought it was cause I was being lazy. But I actually did nothing at all but compare myself to girls. And the thing is I am a different race, I am Indian and I have seen many beautiful Indian girls but you always see white girls in the magazines and Instagram photos. I just started wearing makeup, I’m a beginner and I am still unconfident. I hate having photos being taken of me, and my family doesn’t understand that. Like photos, videos, anything that involves me just destroys me inside. I compare myself to a lot of girls. And I know this sounds like me just being “insecure” but I don’t like leaving my house or showing my face or just doing anything involving people looking at me. It hurts. Like at home, I have some bad days but it’s ok cause it’s home.
But next week I have to go to school and emotionally I’m not ready to go to the outside world. Like I don’t think reading this will even make anyone understand how much I hate myself.
Like I look in the mirror and I think I’m the ugliest person alive. Like there is no one as ugly as me. I search up how to be pretty how to glow up but all of the girls in the video are very beautiful to me. And I have heard that ” looks do not matter, personality does ” but unfortunately it matters so much. Especially when you’re a girl. And comments on my face mentally destroyed me inside to the point I don’t want to go out into the real world. I just hope this doesn’t last forever, because I pray that no one feels as badly about themselves, as I do. Like I hate family photos, photos in general, group photos, talking to people I don’t know, leaving my house. Everyday is just getting harder and harder and I am not suicidal or anything. I’m just tired. I just want to be beautiful.
WAYS YOU’LL BE ABLE TO HELP YOURSELF
- Thank you so much for reaching out to the TeenCentral community and trusting us with this story. It seems like you are really struggling and feeling a lot of pain over your self esteem issues. We are so glad you found us.
- First, we want to direct you to our LEARN section on the TC website named Body Image. Just click HERE to make it easy. There is a lot of information there about self esteem and how it’s connected it issues with body image. You are NOT THE ONLY ONE who struggles with this issue. We would also encourage you to browse other stories that have been written into TeenCentral on a similar topic as yours. You will see that it’s not all that uncommon for young woman to feel uncomfortable with their appearance. And that’s NOT meant to minimize your feelings at all – it’s meant to validate them.
- In the TOOLS section of TeenCentral there is a downloadable that may be helpful called “Positive Self Talk” – Click on that and post it somewhere that it will remind you to think positively of yourself.
- All that aside – like you said in your story – it still might not work. And if you’re feeling so down that you cannot bear it anymore and you are beginning to have dark scary thoughts, like the kind where you want to hurt yourself – PLEASE reach out to one of our hotlines. Many can be found on the HELP tab – but one of our favorites to recommend is the Crisis Textline. Just text HELLO to 741741.
IF YOU ARE UP FOR IT
- If you are up for it you may want to try a few coping skills for the intense feelings you’re having inside. Consider some of the following:
- Put the magazines away and start imagining your own vision of beauty!
- Writing your feelings down in a journal can help express stored up emotion.
- Exercise helps many people feel better like walking, running, yoga, or some other activity that you would like to do.