I’m 14, and last year I came out to my family and friends as gay, however for the past few months I’ve had a huge crush on a girl, and I really want to tell her and let her know, and for her to love me back, but even if she did, I would lose so many friends because they thought I was gay and I actually think I’m bisexual, and I really don’t want to risk that.
I’m just in need of a little advice, or at least someone to talk to, nowadays I feel like no-one would understand the situation I am in, AND stay friends with me, or even respect me as a person. I also don’t want to sacrifice the relationship I have with all my girl-friends, because they all mean so much to me, and I know that if I make a move on this person all my friends will instantly have a different opinion of me. I’m just really lost and I can’t think of anyone else to talk to.
- Talking about your sexuality so openly can be difficulty and takes a lot of courage. Thank you for trusting TeenCentral and sharing your story with us.
- You are not alone in this and many others have shared similar stories and concerns. Take a look at other stories on TeenCentral. It may be helpful to see how others coped. Also you may want to explore the TeenCentral website under the “LEARN” tab and click on “Sexuality – LGBTQ”. There is a lot of information that could be helpful to you. Under the “HELP” section of the website there are a number of hotlines. There is one called “Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender National Help Center” which is set up specifically to support LGBT youth. They are available at the times listed by calling 1800-246-PRIDE (7743) or by visiting http://www.glbthotline.org/youthtalkline.html
- Is there someone you trust to talk to? It could be an older sibling, friend, family member, or teacher/coach. Sometimes getting your thoughts and feelings out can help you feel better and this person could be there to support you.
- Sexuality is something that many do not fully discover until later into their young adulthood. Do not feel like you have to label your sexuality. It is okay to take time to learn and develop who you are. Your sexuality is only part of who you are and it is only your story to tell. What are the other qualities that you bring into your relationships with others? Journaling can be a useful technique to express the feelings you have.
- Similar to journaling, sometimes writing down pros and cons to a situation can be helpful. What are the pros and cons to telling this girl you like her? Writing these down may help you make a decision that is thought out and best for you. And when or if you decide to communicate with her, you will be better prepared to have that conversation.
- When we have many feelings, worries, and concerns they tend to build up inside us. Along with journaling or talking to someone you trust, yoga and deep breathing may be beneficial for built up tensions. Look under the “Tools” section and click on “Sun Salutation” for a great guide to get started.