I have a unimportant problem that seems like it’s everything right now. Anyway, here goes
So I’m really trying to deal with my feelings right now about this dude, but in the process of figuring everything out, I think I really hurt my friend because she said something that made me really upset! I didn’t mean whatever it was that I said, but that doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt her. Anyway, what should I do? Take into consideration that she thinks that this is all about a guy.
- We’d like to assure you that when a problem seems like everything to you it’s definitely important to us. It’s so hard when you know you’ve hurt someone you care about deeply. Being able to admit that you’ve done or said something that hurt another person is a very difficult step to take. Thank you for being brave enough to acknowledge this and share your story with TeenCentral. I’m sure you are not alone in this!
- Under the “TOOLS” section on the TeenCentral website there is a Social Skills downloadable worksheet and one the second page of the worksheet there is something called “Perspective Taking“. Look at the questions and think about this with regards to your friend. See if this exercise helps you understand better and process through the problem a bit.
- I’m sure right now the two of you are taking some space from each other, and that’s probably a good thing. But it still might be a good idea to think about what you might say if you could talk right now. What would you like to say to your friend? How would you help her understand your perspective, and how would you communicate to her that you understand her perspective?
- Processing intense emotions can be a struggle. Think about various ways you can do this such as writing stories or poetry, squeezing a stress ball or squishy, working with modeling clay, painting with water color or listening to music to name a few. Don’t let those upset feelings bottle up inside!
- If you’re having a lot of negative emotions right now, maybe try looking up the “Positive Self-Talk” downloadable in the “TOOLS” section on the TeenCentral website. If you can, print it and circle the statements you feel apply to you.