I don’t know what to do

I don’t know what to do

I need advice. So very recently a close friend of mine was found murdered in her house, basically I don’t know how to deal with this or accept it, I’ve been to the house, I’ve repeated it to myself many times that she’s gone and I just can’t accept it. I’m constantly crying or upset, this mood is affecting those around me, I’ve just got back from work today, I went straight to my room, ignoring my flat mate and his gf, as well as ignoring mine, I messaged mine saying I just wanted some alone time and it seemed to annoy her. I just want my friend back, the only person I didn’t have to put on an emotional mask with sort from my gf, this friend was the only friend I could be me with, she was such a wonderful person and I just hate that she’s gone and I wish I could have seen her. I feel like I could have saved her too, something like this happened before, her fiancée got very aggressive and attempted to murder her before, and I saved her then, we gave her sanctuary in my house, but this time, we stopped messaging in March, I should have known something was wrong, I should have messaged her. I could have prevented it but now she’s gone and I just feel sick, and lost and numb and empty and I honestly think that if my gf wasn’t here that I’d just end it. I’ve had thoughts of stupid dark things, I know my friend wouldn’t want me to, but I just can’t help thinking about it, wanting it just at a chance, that if there is some afterlife, I can see them again, but of course I have my gf and I can’t leave her like that either. I just hate everything about this situation, and I miss her more than anything. I don’t feel like I’ve been able to grieve either, I’ve had so much homework and my job I’ve just not been able to stop and just miss her for more than an hour or so. I don’t know, I’m considering seeing a doctor just to get something fixed about my mood/mental state but I don’t know how, so any help me please. I don’t want to feel like this, my friend wouldn’t have wanted me too and I just want to make her happy despite being gone, any advise, please.

CONSIDER THIS:

  • Dealing with the death of someone close to you is a hard to deal with even more when that person meant so much to you. You are strong and are already starting your journey to work through this.
  • Everyone grieves differently, don’t be hard on yourself with the process. Remember there is no wrong or right way to grieve.
  • Now is a great time to reach out to someone close to you and talk to them about how you are feeling, or even speaking to a counselor or therapist like you mentioned. You need all the support you can get and deserve to be listened to.
  • Take care of yourself. Pay attention to how you are reacting to things and replace any negativity with something you love to do. Know that by doing that, it is making your friend proud and bringing peace into your life. Visit the Tools Tab on the TeenCentral page and scroll down to the “Daily Positive Reminder Source Guide”. Click on it and complete the sheet on any bad days you have and learn to love yourself through it all. The Help tab on the TeenCentral website also has many hotlines you can contact at any time. Utilize all the sources on the page as much as you want.

HELP YOURSELF:

  • How would you help a friend who is going through something similar?
  • What types of safe activities bring you happiness?
  • Who do you feel comfortable talking to?