i dont have many to begin with.
theres [male friend – name protected]. he makes george floyd and n word jokes constantly. and i dont think i should let it slide anymore.
theres [female friend – name protected]. she asks me why i havent killed myself already and that i’m just faking my depression and suicidal thoughts for attention.
theres [female friend – name protected]. i cant see her much but she’s probably my only good friend. i’m grounded so i cant facetime her or anything.
i’m only 11, but i’ve been told alot that i’m really mature for my age, which means theres very few people in my grade that i can actually connect with.
- Thank you for writing to TeenCentral and sharing your story. It sounds like you are dealing with a challenging situation. Asking for help is no small thing when you are feeling down and we are so glad you are here.
- First off, I’d like to address your feelings of depression and suicidal thoughts. If at any time your feelings/thoughts become too much to bear please visit the HELP tab on TeenCentral and use one of the 24/7 365 hotlines available there. One of the two best ones for you would probably be the CRISIS TEXT LINE. Just text “HELLO” to 741741 and start a conversation or visit www.crisistextline.org on a computer to start talking with someone live. Another option is the National Suicide Hotline. You can call 1-800-273-8255 to talk to someone in person or visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org and chat with someone live.
- TeenCentral has some really good learning resources that may help you with some decisions you need to make about these friends. Please visit the LEARN tab and explore our sections on DEPRESSION, SUICIDE, and RELATIONSHIPS. In these areas of the website you can expect to learn some new information about some of what you are experiencing.
- Have you considered talking to any trusted adult in your life about these issues you’re having? Many times young people don’t think it will be helpful, but in the end – it really makes a difference to talk to someone face to face. It doesn’t even have to be a parent, especially if that’s not really an option for you. It could be an older sibling or cousin, aunt/uncle, teacher, coach, etc. Just give it some thought.
- Good for you for being concerned about the inappropriate jokes your male friend is making. It’s important that you stand up for your personal values. If people in your life don’t share those same values it may be that this is not a good friend for you. Or – maybe this is a friend who might respect you enough that if you speak up he will stop this behavior. Either way, we are proud of you for standing up for social justice.
- We also would like to comment about the female friend who asked you, “why haven’t [you] killed [yourself] yet?” To this, we say, “We are OVERJOYED that you have not hurt yourself or killed yourself.” We are happy you are still on this earth and that you surely make this world better by being in it! Friends who ask these kinds of questions do not understand how depression works, and we sincerely hope you are able to block out this unkindness and ignorance as you work on having a fulfilling life. Please refer to the learning areas we talked about above. Consider asking a therapist or guidance counselor to explain more to you. These are better sources of information.
- Decisions, decisions… You may come to a point where you have to make a decision about keeping a friend or moving in a new direction. If you are having difficulty making this decision, consider using the TeenCentral Pro/Con List Tool to help you. JUST CLICK HERE, download and print.
- You are at an age where you will come upon very challenging social situations. TeenCentral has a Social Skills Tool that breaks down some of the difficult situations and provides conversation starters for you to keep in mind. JUST CLICK HERE, download and print to review. We believe this could be super helpful to you.