Stories

I Just Can’t Be Me

By October 14, 2020No Comments

I came out as gay ( lesbian) on social media when I was around the age of 13, and I love the game of basketball. Since I made that post around 3 years ago my mother and I have been arguing non stop. Over that span of years she has made me go to four therapists that were all of some kind of high up in the church. I was forced to stand in front of the entire church and have an evangelist tell me that if I don’t change, my life is never going to be the way I want it to be. I took my mother’s car out of anger, ( which my brother also did and never got in trouble for). She has denied all of my college scholarships that involved basketball and declined my tournaments to go travel with my teams. And through all of this I have been suffering from depression. Even though I put her through HELL, she has also put me through a lot. And despite all the things that she has said and done to me over the years, yes I do hate her for not loving me for who I am. I still love her as a person, not a mother. Now when I am out of her house she will see that the HELL she put me through was the reason that I succeed and will become one of the best WNBA players this world has ever seen.

Thank you to everyone that reads this. I hope you can help me get through this too. Life is too short to deal with someone not loving you for you, no matter who they are.

HELP YOURSELF

  • We’re happy to listen to your story and support you here at Teen Central. Thank you for trusting us to listen and be a positive resource for you. These are VERY SENSITIVE issues that you have been brave enough to share here on this website and we just want to acknowledge how difficult that must have been!
  • It sounds like you’ve got a solid understanding of who you are, however you’re upset that you’re not getting the support you feel you should from those closest to you. The support we receive from our loved ones is an invaluable part of life, as they are supposed to be our protection from the outside world. If you have to attend therapy anyway, have you considered asking your mom to attend therapy with you? It may help to have someone who isn’t directly and emotionally involved in the situation assist the two of you in working through this together. Many people do this, and find it extremely helpful.
  • In the meantime, do you have another trusted adult that cares about you that you can talk to during this time? It may help to have the ear of another adult while you’re trying to work things out with your mom.
  • We have some tools for you on our Teen Central website that you may be interested in. There is information in our LEARN tab regarding SEXUALITY/ LGBTQ and another on COMMUNICATION. There may be something in here that will help you navigate this situation with your mother.

CONSIDER THIS

  • It sounds like basketball means a lot to you. When you’re not practicing with a team, do you do other things related to it- running, weightlifting, meditation. These are great times to use to think, get exercise, and yes- top level athletes use meditation to focus their minds. This may be something you’d like to try.
  • Have you tried keeping a journal for your thoughts and feelings? This is a great place to express yourself without worrying about judgement from others. When you keep a journal of thoughts and feelings over time you can go back and review it later on. This helps you learn and see how you’ve grown in the situation over a longer period of time, and it can be very helpful process.
  • Your outlook and the goals you’re setting for yourself are awesome. Don’t stop reaching for the things you really want to do! Under the TOOLS tab there is a Goals Dreamcatcher Tool that may help may out these goals as well as several other tools that we could see being very helpful to you.