I Want to Die
I actually feel like I want to die. All the time. Even when good things happen to me. And when I am sad, my mom acts so weird. Imagine you are sad and crying on your couch, for anyone to walk by and hear. Imagine your own mother hears you crying. She would go up to you and hug you, right? She would ask you what’s wrong, and try to comfort you? Not my mom. She says, “Talk to me. What happened. What is making you sad?” and I can’t answer that question because my sadness comes out of nowhere and I don’t know. When I don’t know what to say, she gets frustrated and walks away. I am SOBBING on the couch and she HEARS ME and she still walks away. Like I’m invisible. And she did the same thing to my dad and now they live in separate places so he can’t even comfort me now. I feel alone and probably like the best solution to all of this is to die.
Also you guys say that you answer stories within 24 hours of them being posted, but I posted before and you didn’t. So if I am going to kill myself in the next 24 hours no one will be there to stop me.
I just feel so alone and like this is all I have.
- Having suicidal thoughts can make you feel depressed and alone. You are strong for enduring your struggles on your own even though it’s very difficult to tolerate.
- You are right to feel frustrated when you need genuine help. No one deserves to suffer alone. . If you need someone to talk to, you may head to the Teen Central website and click the Help tab then call one of the hotlines.
- Becoming more spiritual can help you feel less alone. Everything happens for a reason. On the Teen Central website, click the Learn tab then Spirituality to learn more. You can try prayer, meditation or yoga to calm the mind, body and soul. You may also attend church services to gain meaning.
- You can learn more about depression by clicking the Learn tab then Depression on the Teen Central website. The Tools tab has many valuable resources. You can also read about other teens’ problems under the Story tab. If your own story hasn’t been responded to in time, it’s highly likely you’ll find that someone posted a similar problem to yours here and got a similar response.
- Not all mothers are perfect. Some had children before they learned how to care selflessly. All kids need unconditional love and this includes you. You may try getting a pet to gain the unconditional love you deserve. Adopting one from a pet shelter could save a life.
- Although your mother may seem uncaring and cold toward your situation, her approach may simply be the way she was treated as a child.
- Know how important your own life is. You might feel safer and more loved by loving yourself more. Dwelling on your problems will only make them worse. Be positive. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself. Take care of your body, mind and spirit.
- You can express your feelings by writing in a daily journal, drawing, coloring in a coloring book or by learning to play a musical instrument.
- You can try being grateful. Write down all of the people and things you have to be grateful for each day.
- You can try volunteering to gain a positive mindset. Empower yourself by helping others who are less fortunate than you. Organizations to consider helping are soup kitchens, Meals on Wheels, hospitals, libraries or The American Red Cross. You can help out at a local pet shelter, animal sanctuary or foster a dog. Spending time with animals can be very therapeutic. By getting involved in the problems of others’, you have the opportunity to forget about your own.
- Instead of wasting time dwelling on your mom, focus on things that truly matter to you.
- You can try forgetting about your mom’s immature behavior by focusing on other things. Read a book, watch a humorous movie, or head to your local park or library to get away from the house. Join a sport or learn a new hobby for fun!
- Knowledge is power. You can go to the Teen Central website and click the Learn tab then Suicide to read about this serious issue.
- If you need additional help, you can try talking to a trusted therapist, school counselor or other mental health professional. Speaking to someone could help you sort out your problems so you can gain peace.
- In what ways can you focus on having the best future for yourself?
- What are some creative ideas to spend your time positively?
- What can you learn from being treated badly by your mother? How can you turn this into something positive?
- In what ways could your world change if you gain a more positive mindset?