Okay.. so I came out to my parents as gay (lesbian) a few months ago. It didn’t go well at all. Now there’s a girl that I’m kind of into that works at a local Starbucks, and I think she may be into me too. I had asked for advice a few days ago, but someone mistook me as a gay man trying to like a girl to please my family. That’s totally understandable though, as I never specified if I was a girl. Anyway, I guess I just wonder if it would be a bad idea to try to give her my number or ask her to hang out. I’m mainly worried about my mom finding out and going off on me though. I don’t want to miss having fun and hanging out with new people just because my mom can’t stand the idea of me being gay. It’s been a long process for me to even be okay with this and I guess… I don’t know. Any ideas? Should I just move on and wait until I don’t have to worry? Thank you in advance!
CONSIDER THIS:
- Not being accepted by everyone for being yourself can make you feel stifled and alone. You are strong for tolerating your family’s negative judgement of you even though you feel like you can’t even live your life the way you want to.
- You have the right to be a lesbian if you want to. It’s your life. You can tell your parents that many states now support gay marriage. If your state doesn’t you can move to one that does when you’re old enough. Your parents don’t have to accept you but you don’t have to conform to their beliefs either.
- Be yourself. No one has the right to change you. You can use creativity to express yourself by painting, writing, drawing or any other activity you choose.
- As long as you live in your parents’ house you have to live by their rules since you’re a teenager. The answer to this would be to become a responsible person so you’re taken seriously and you can leave when you’re 18. Plus, your parents will likely feel like they can trust you to take care of yourself more.
- Responsibility gives you a lot of freedom to make your own choices in the right way. This will help you have control over your own life. This is something you need, at least to some extent. You may try getting a part-time job or start small and do chores around the house or get a pet to take care of.
- You don’t have to tell your parents that you’re dating a girl, at least at first. Being secretive may be viewed as immoral and unwise because if your parents find out they’ll likely be angry and might kick you out of the house.
- You can write down the pros and cons of telling your parents that you’d like to date a girl if you want to.
- On the other hand, you can wait to live your life the way you want to when your 18. This would make it easier to keep your private life private. You have the right to love who you want to as long as it’s not against the law.
- You can also ask her out to see how the situation progresses. She might say yes or no. If you end up having a relationship with her or someone else you can try being honest and tell your parents. Use common sense and know the point is that nobody knows if they’ll accept you dating her so you’ll have to do what’s safest and best for you.
- If you want to, you can definitely ask this girl out. Remember that you don’t want to miss out on life and it’s wrong for someone to hold you back from being yourself, even if it’s your own parents. Good parents love their children unconditionally. Let discrimination make you a stronger person.
- If you have further troubles you can find help on the Teen Central website any time you’d like. If you need someone to talk to you can click the Help tab then call one of the hotlines.
HELP YOURSELF:
- What are the pros and cons of asking out this girl?
- In what ways can you continue to be yourself and not let others change you?
- In what other honest ways can you gain your parents’ trust?
