Lately I’ve been feeling sexually or romantically towards woman. I can’t talk to my friends because they don’t support the LGBTQ+. My mom says she accepting of it, but my dad’s and my step mom’s family find it wrong. They look at me as a perfect child, and I don’t know how to tell them that I’m lesbian. I don’t think they would accept me for who I am and that worries me. I just want to be supported, but I don’t think I’ll ever get it from my family. Should I just keep quiet and pretend to be someone I’m not or should I tell them and risk losing my whole family.
- You are feeling conflicted about whether to let people who care about you know that you are lesbian. You want their love and support with your choice, but are afraid it will ruin your relationship with your family and friends. You are wondering whether to tell them and risk their rejection, or to just stay silent and feel like you are living a lie.
- When you understand who you are, it can be liberating and empowering. However, not being able to be yourself around the people closest to you can make you feel stifled and alone. You deserve to be happy, and you should be able to feel comfortable being yourself. Unfortunately, now might not be the right time to share your news with your family and friends. Figuring out if it is the right time, how to share your news, and with whom can be difficult. Consider making a list of the pros and cons of you sharing your news with your family and friends. This may help you to decide what to do.
- If you decide to share your news, choosing who to share it with and whether you want them to tell other people is also a difficult choice. Please continue to share your thoughts on Teencentral.net and also look up some stories posted by other teens in your situation. Knowing how others have handled coming out, and also getting their advice, my be helpful. When deciding who to share your news with, consider who you feel closest to and think about who you think will be more likely to support you. Your mom may be a good place to start. Remember, you do not have to let everyone know, you may want to just talk to one or two people and spread the news wider later. Again, a list of people who you think will be the most willing to listen and help you would be a good idea. Then, you may want to just start with one person and see how it goes.
- If you decide to tell your family that you are lesbian, please give careful thought as to how you are going to do so. Their reaction may be affected by when and how you tell them. Writing down your thoughts and how you think they will react can be helpful. Playing the conversation in your head before you actually have it, could make things easier for everyone.
- It can be hard to decide what to do, but thinking about your feelings and the pros and cons can help. If you have a relative or an adult at school that you can talk to about this, consider doing so and asking for confidentiality. You deserve to be happy and you deserve love and support. Although your are facing a difficult decision, please remember that your family and friends love you and want what’s best for you.
What are the pros and cons of telling your friends or family that you are lesbian?
Which of your friends and family do you think will be the most supportive about your news?
If you told your mom, what would you say to her and what do you think she would say to you?