Stories

I’m Not Alive

By May 1, 2021No Comments

So here’s how I pretty much view my existence on this earth: I don’t want to live anymore, [extremely explicit content withheld for the protection of readers].

I had a fire in my soul when I first started college and now it’s completely gone. My dream is dead and there’s nooooo bringing it back to life. The one person in my life who I considered to be a strong believer in my future success, is now not affordable anymore……I’m spiritually, emotionally, physically, and psychologically drained. I want to get out this body, I know I’m ready to leave this earth; but for the viewers who will be reading this: I wanted to become a music producer/songwriter/composer for as looooooong as I could remember. I fantasize about it all the time and I try to write my own music when an idea comes to mind……..I’m just done living, so I’m going to screw the back story.

GET HELP NOW

  • Thank you for sharing your true feelings with TeenCentral no matter how intense, scary and dark they may be. We want you to be honest with us. That’s why we are here.
  • Without even knowing all the circumstances I can tell that you are experiencing an EXTREME loss right now and are in extreme pain because of it. I take your statements about suicide very seriously so please call one of these numbers immediately: Try the National Suicide Hotline first by dialing 1-800-273-8255 (available 24/7);  secondly you could text “HELLO” to 741741, the Crisis Textline. Either of these could help you work through your feelings and would be immediately available to you.
  • Is there someone in your life you trust (besides the strong believer you mention in your story) who you can trust with your thoughts and feelings? A good friend, adviser, professor, family member? Could you set up a coffee date with this person and talk with them about what’s been going on? Better yet – what about setting up a counseling appointment with the college’s counseling center? These are just some ideas for you to talk to someone face to face. It can be really helpful.

WHEN YOU’RE READY

  • After this initial crisis is passed and your safe again – and we are hoping so much that this happens for you – there may be some things you can try for yourself to rest after this setback in your life. We don’t want to bombard you with a whole ton of things to do. There are a lot of resources on this site, but before you even go through them think of this – what were the things that happened that caused you get to the point of thinking about suicide in the first place? What were the initial triggers leading up to it? Write them down in a journal so that later on you recognize them and you can reach out for help early on before it’s too late.
  • Coping Skills – The next thing to work on is coping skills for stress that work for you. Not all coping skills work for all people. That’s we often list many options in our recommendations. You have to think about what you like to do – but more than that – what helps you feel calm. Those are the things you’re going list as your coping skills. These will become part of your safety plan. When life gets stressful pull out your safety plan and review what you know works for you.