Have you ever had a secret that eats you alive, completely ruins your life, and haunts you in your dreams? All you want to do is sleep and run or hide but it’s trapped forever in your mind? I want to tell my secret but it could ruin so many lives. What if telling was the right thing to do? How do you know? I’m so sick of someone I care about being so blind and I know the truth would destroy her. I’ve left hints here and there but no matter what I say, she’s in denial. Would it matter if I told the truth anyway? Is it better to live a happy lie than hear the devastating truth? Not that I have the courage anyway; I just don’t know if I can continue living this way.
CONSIDER THIS:
- It’s hard to see friends suffer. You may feel like your efforts mean nothing because they can’t see what you see and all you want to do is help them. It can be very frustrating, especially when the troubles of our loved ones start to weigh down on our own happiness and become our struggles.
- Think about the pros and cons. Make a list of all the good and bad things that would happen if you tell your friend the truth and then make a list of all the good and bad things that could happen if you kept your secret. Use that to help you decide what to do.
- Put yourself in your friend’s shoes. If your roles were reversed, imagine how you would want the situation to go. If you know you would want someone to tell you the truth, you should probably tell your friend the truth.
- Know when to step away. If your friend is ignoring the truth, you cannot let her decision to remain ignorant hurt you. It seems that your friend’s troubles have started to stress you out. If she won’t accept your help, then maybe giving yourself space from her to figure things out herself will help you both. You deserve to get your mind off of her problems and she may appreciate being given the freedom to decide how she wants to handle things herself. It’s good to help friends but if you’ve done all you can and they don’t appreciate it, you may need to invest your time and effort elsewhere for your own sake. It’s not always wise to link your emotions to other people’s problems.
HELP YOURSELF:
- What are the pros and cons of keeping your secret or telling the truth?
- Would you want someone to tell you the truth if the roles were reversed? Is honesty the best policy?
- When, if at all, is it better to keep a secret? Is it ever better to keep the truth from a friend?
- What can be gained from stepping away from your friend?
