My mom is always yelling at me. I’m in band at my school and I play oboe and need reeds to play it. My reeds are a bit more expensive then other reeds and so she said that all she sees is money here money there and nothing for her. I always ride horses which is also expensive. She told that I would have to give up some things that I love to be able to get a job. I want to get a job in doing something I love which are these two things. I thought it would get better, and I thought things would be fine but ever since one day I failed something and broke my phone it has only gone downhill from there. I just don’t know what to do. I’m also turning sixteen soon and want to get my license, but now she is starting to rethink that. My sister, who is in college, doesn’t have this problem at all. Lately, my mom has been using the excuse that she is an adult and calling me less mature then her (which is not true). Being silly isn’t immature, it’s just being a teen and trying to live life to the fullest. All I want for my birthday is for my mom to turn her stress and anger into something else. I want to help her find a job after I can drive by myself, so that she won’t have to worry about picking me up anymore. I just don’t know what to do right now. I feel that there is no way to help me or her. Thanks for reading my story.
You and your mom seem to be arguing about a lot lately. You feel that you are just being a normal teenager but, your mom has reacted with a lot of anger. You feel that your mom is a very stressed-out person and that this makes it difficult to live with her. You enjoy certain activities and would like continue to do them. You also want to get a job and be allowed to drive yourself. You want to have a better relationship with her and also to help her find a job.
At any age, it can be difficult to be around a loved one who is dealing with a lot of stress and anger. You love your mom, but you are really concerned about your relationship. Sometimes, although it is difficult, talking to the stressed and angry person might help your relationship. Consider finding a time when you can ask her if she has the time to talk to you about how your are feeling and your concerns about your relationship. When you can find a time that works best for both of you, think about telling her how much you love and care for her and how important it is for you to have a good relationship with her. Consider making very short list in advance of how your relationship is making you feel and maybe what you think might help to improve it.
You have several activities you like and you have plans on how you want to spend your days. However, monetary concerns may make it hard for you to do what you love. Think about what is really the most important activity for you right now and think about how you can achieve your goals in a way that works for you and your family.
If you could talk to your mom about your concerns about your relationship, what would you say?
What do you think both of you could do to try to have a better relationship?
How do you think your mother would respond to your concerns?
What do you like to do when you are stressed and upset?