This is my family problem about my mother have an affair.
I’m in stress and I’m not well. Because of thinking about my mother do an illegal thing. Daily night I’m not able to sleep well and does not ate properly. What can I do. Please guide me to face this situation. I’m not ready to tell this to my dad. Because if my dad know this, the problem will go extreme. My mom always say lie. What can I do. I lost myself.
- Thank you for reaching out to Teen Central for help navigating this painful issue. We appreciate that this is a sensitive family problem, and not easy to talk about. You have a lot of support here!
- It sounds like this problem is really weighing on you. If you ever feel like the worry about this problem is weighing on you so much that you are feeling overwhelmed, please know there are people out there that can talk with you anytime! You can call 1-800-273-8255 anytime or text HELLO to 741741. Issues like this are not easily or quickly resolved, so please keep these contacts somewhere safe that you can access them anytime.
- Do you have anyone safe outside your immediate family that you can talk to? Talking with family members may make things more complicated and stressful in this particular situation, but having a person that can listen to your feelings and thoughts as you live through this could feel like a strong relief.
- We’re so glad you’re seeing the connection between your stress and your physical health. Some people don’t see when they’re really stressed they have headaches, or don’t sleep or eat the way they normally do. Knowing this, we encourage you to take a look at the LEARN section in WELLNESS for some resources to relax and calm your mind and body. Also, look at the TOOLS section for information about meditation, yoga, exercise and good nutrition that may help you. It’s ok for you to focus more on your health right now. Consider also if you haven’t been to a doctor for a physical in a while, this may be a great time to ask your mom or dad to go.
- There’s no easy answer for what you can do in this situation. It sounds like you love your mom and your dad, and you want your family to be ok. You can continue to love your mother for the person she is, even if you don’t agree with the choices she’s making. Affairs happen in relationships for a number of reasons – it’s possible you don’t know all the issues surrounding your mother’s choice. It’s ok for you to tell your mother the stress knowing about this affair is having on you and letting her know how it’s affecting you. This is a good time to learn more about qualities of healthy and unhealthy relationships for yourself, so check out LEARN for this information.
- It’s important that you consider if it your place to tell your father about the affair. Since this is such a difficult decision, consider using our TOOL – Making a Difficult Decision. This resource can help you figure out what benefits and costs (or pros and cons) could come from telling your father about the affair. It already sounds like you know there could be some extreme results, but identifying all the ways it could help or hurt may help make an impossible situation feel at least a little less confusing for how to handle it.
- Finally, take time to take care of yourself, mentally and physically, every day! Even if you only take 10 minutes to meditate, exercise, go for a walk, breathe deeply or whatever feels calming for you, you WILL feel the benefits! Please be well.