Stories

Never stable

By March 26, 2021April 2nd, 2021No Comments

I was never stable in a house, or any kind of placement i guess.  my mother never had a steady job.  she was always losing money and being laid off from her jobs, then we’d have to leave our house.  i hated it.  soon it got so bad that we had to move into a shelter.  then about 6 months in living there, my grandma offered to take us into her house.  then maybe 4 months after that, she kicked us out after i had to go to the hospital to see if i had to go to a mental hospital since i was cutting and trying to kill myself.

then from there, we moved to my mom’s friend tammy’s house.  she kicked us out, too. then we kept going to friends’ houses and kept getting kicked out, until my mom finally let go and didn’t have any more friends to go to, so we slept in our car that night.  we called my counselor, and she called cys.  my mom told them her one friend’s name and they called that friend, and i had to go there.  it was hell for those 3 months i was with that friend. she let me have no phone, since i was sexting someone because i was vulnerable and needed an outlet to escape from real life.  after those 3 months, i was admitted to pes (psychiatric emergency services) in the reading hospital because i had a plan to stab myself on jan. 30th, 2021.  then i got admitted to kidspeace.  i was in there for 2 weeks, because i had to wait for a foster family opening.  i dated four kids in kidspeace- because then again- i was vulnerable.

after i was discharged from kidspeace, i went with my new foster family.  i’ve been here for about a month or two, and i love it here.  thanks for listening to my ted talk i guess- i just needed to vent.

HELP YOURSELF

  • Here at TeenCentral, we are more than happy to be the ones to listen to your story!  We appreciate your willingness to be so open about the many changes that have occurred in your life over the past few years.  Always having to adapt to new surroundings can be tough, so we are very glad to hear that you have been enjoying the last couple of months living with your foster family.
  • Frequently relocating can cause a lot of additional stress in our day to day lives.  You are a very strong person for surviving so much already! Sometimes it can even seem like things would be easier if we could escape from all of the troubles that we are facing.  Yet, as you shared in your story, it is important to recognize that there are so many people and organizations that can offer us some hope, even in the darkest of times.  If you are ever struggling again with thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out to the National Suicide Hotline (1-800-273-8255) in order to get some immediate assistance.  Even if you just need somebody who can listen as you vent, try texting HELLO to 741741 in order to contact the Crisis Textline.
  • As you stated, sometimes just having somebody available to listen can really help us manage the tension and stress in our lives.  Have you considered sharing some your story with your foster family? If not them (because you’re still just getting to know them), do you have someone in your life that you trust and can talk to whenever you start feeling overwhelmed?  It can be tough to be so vulnerable with others, but a great listener should be able to validate your feelings and help you safely cope with whatever difficulties you may encounter.

CONSIDER THIS

  • Having lived in many different settings, you may have developed a sense of what type of environments, situations, and people can help you to feel safe.  Have you ever tried to collect and organize this information in one place?  On the TOOLS page of TeenCentral.com, there is a template for a Support Plan that could be really helpful for you to reference whenever you may be struggling with thoughts of harming yourself.  If you chooses to share this plan with others, it can also help them to better understand what you are experiencing and offer you the type of help that works best for you!
  • As a young person, it is totally normal to seek companionship and pursue romantic interests.  It is really important to make sure that the relationships that we form are healthy and helpful for us; otherwise, they can actually further complicate our lives.  A true sign of a really strong relationship is finding a partner who helps to make us feel safer when we are with them.  For even more tips on developing successful relationships, the LEARN tab of TeenCentral.com has some useful information, including a section that covers healthy digital communication.
  • Even though you have moved to many different places in the last few years, it seems like the one constant throughout the many changes is…you!  If you focus on discovering what you can do to take care of yourself, you will probably be able to feel more relaxed, and maybe even happier, regardless of the setting.  TeenCentral.com has a whole section on Relaxation that includes some great suggestions on different coping skills that you could try to find the things that you enjoy most.