No longer sure what to identify as

No longer sure what to identify as

My best friend and I (we’ll call her Emily) began dating a couple months ago. We met at the beginning of the school year (we’re both juniors at the same high school) and became friends immediately. From the beginning, I was aware that I had a massive crush on her. It took quite a while for me to admit this to her. When I did, she revealed she had a massive crush on me too. Neither of us were into girls before meeting and we both considered ourselves straight. Now we don’t know what to think. Is it possible to be straight and still be in love with a girl or is that a contradiction of terms? Could we be bisexual? What do you think?

PS: We recently told both her parents and mine about us. They were incredibly supportive! They even said they are okay with us continuing to sleep over at one another’s houses on the weekends.


  • Thank you for taking the time to contact TeenCentral to share your story. It can be a confusing time for someone who is unsure what to identify as considering you declared yourself as a straight female before.
  • Identity can be a demanding stigma from society but it is important that you identify as whatever you feel defines you.
  • Nothing is better than knowing you have all the support you need from your parents and your girlfriends parents. Sometimes it is best to not focus so much on the title of identity and just continue to be you. Let your relationship speak for itself. There is also a resource center called Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender National Help Line that is available to you depending on your time zone and centered around as support for all youth.

Monday-Friday 1pm to 9pm pacific time
Monday-Friday 4pm to 12am eastern time
Saturday 9am to 2pm pacific time
Saturday 12pm to 5pm eastern time

Youth Talkline: 1800-246-PRIDE (7743)


  • What does your girlfriend think about the demand on declaring your identity and hers?
  • What has been the reaction of others besides your parents about your relationship?
  • What has been the reaction of your own identity?
  • How can go by letting others know who may be curious to ask about what you identity as?