So I told a guy friend of mine I like him, he was totally ok with it! What a relief, right? Wrong, I was talking to my friend about it and she told me it was time to tell the truth. So I told him I have trust issues. I told him that I have been hurt by many “friends” in my life and that a lot of those friendships were corrupted. I told him that a lot of my friends now, which I can count on my fingers and toes, don’t trust me because I am a pastors kid. I have a wall around my heart so it doesn’t break again and I don’t know how much more it could handle. I told him I let it down for him but that sometimes he still hurts me. He hasn’t talked to me since. I am talking to a friend about it and she said he might still be processing it. This is the first time I have something I felt deep down, but it doesn’t help. It just worsened my trust issues!!
- Thank you for reaching out to Teen Central and having the strength to discuss difficult feelings about trust. It is great to see that you have a friend that you feel comfortable talking to about your feelings.
- Perhaps look at the Learn section on the TC website under Anxiety. Anxiety can come in many ways and feelings. You may find it may help you to identify some your feelings regarding trusting others. You may also want to look under the Tools section for Positive Self Talk and Daily Positive Reminders. These can be very helpful if practiced and added as part of your daily routine.
- A trusted therapist may also be able to help you learn how to trust others in a healthy way. Talking to a therapist in person could really be helpful. You could communicate and process all of these thoughts in the moment! You might even learn to have more fulfilling relationships without being too afraid of what might happen if you trust.
- Perhaps you could talk to your father regarding your feelings about being a pastors kid. You seem to have a lot of thoughts and feeling about how this has affected you, and what it does to your relationships. Make a Pro/Con list about this conversation, and write down questions that you may have for him so that you remember to discuss them in the moment.
- You mention in your story that your friends don’t trust you because your a pastors kid. Have your friends expressed this to you? Perhaps it is possible that you are being hard on yourself and assume they feel this way? Maybe this is something you could talk about with your trusted friend. It may help to ask your guy friend if he has any feelings about your father being a pastor, you may be surprised about his response!
- It’s possible that these conversations could induce some anxiety. How can you prepare yourself and your emotions for the potential directions these conversations may take? Consider trying breathing exercises under the What’s New Tab to practice before you have these difficult conversations. It will be so much better to be in a calm and grounded state when you initiate talking to your friends, and father.