What do I do?
Hi. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think that I want to be friends with one of my close friends anymore, because she is always shaming me for being suicidal and self harming, and saying how hers is worse than mine. Sometimes she is a good friend to me, and she’s the only friend I have at school that I feel comfortable talking to. But I don’t think I really want to be her friend anymore. I recently got out of a mental hospital and am going back to school tomorrow. I don’t want to talk to my friend about this because she will shame me for it again. I am also not allowed to talk about it at school because the principal will not let me. I don’t know what I did wrong, but the only friends I can make are toxic! I want real friends, and I want to stop being friends with my current friend. But I don’t know who else I will talk to, and I always tell her everything about my life. I feel like no one wants to be my friend because of all my problems, and if I let them be my friend they always leave because I confide in them too much. I don’t have anyone else to turn to. Help!
- Thank you for taking the time to share your story with our community. We think if you look at our STORIES tab, you may find you are not alone in some of the things you mentioned here. It sounds as if you are at a crossroads with both your own values and boundaries as well as with this friendship. We imagine this must be difficult for you.
- We always want to promote safety first and it is also good to have crisis numbers just in case. You can find these on our HELP tab for example: you can Text “HELLO” to 741741 for 24/7 help if you need it.
- We also support building your own networks to build up your resilience. Growing up is rough and it sounds like you might need someone to talk to. Consider if you have a good relationship with someone at school such as a counselor or a teacher. Do you have someone positive in the family that you could talk to about this friendship. And you ultimately have to decide your boundaries and how much negativity you will tolerate from anyone. We recommend surrounding yourself with positive people who have nice or productive things to say to you.
- In the mean time, you don’t have to completely end any friendships unless you determine that is what you need, but can we suggest that you spend MORE time with yourself. Consider trying new things like journaling, drawing, dancing, walking, or petting an animal. Pick up a new hobby or try some local volunteer activities.
- If you have people who routinely shame you or put you down that sounds a lot like bullying and you can learn more about that and healthy relationships on our LEARN tab under bullying.
- You might also find some very useful coping skills and suggestions on our WHAT’S NEW tab and our TOOLS tab. See how many tools you already have by looking at our MPE TOOLKIT. Thank you again for your story. Keep making good choices and don’t be afraid to take care of yourself, you are worth it!