Stories

What Should I Do?

By November 2, 2021No Comments

I’m thinking of living with someone other than my parents. Only because my mum would threaten me saying that she will tell my dad something that only me and my mum know about(my boyfriend) and I don’t want my dad to know. And she said that if she hears or sees about it she’ll lose trust in me forever. And she keeps on arguing with me about it. I keep telling her that I am sorry but she can’t process that I feel bad and want to make things better. I’m thinking of moving away to live with a trusted family member or a friend. But I don’t know what I should actually do because running away from your problems isn’t right. So in conclusion, what should I do ?

Help Yourself:

  • It sounds like there are a lot of things going on between you and your parents.  Thank you for reaching out for help.
  • One of the more important parts of any type of relationship you have in life is your ability to communicate with each other.  Good communication involves a calm, rational approach to not only telling your side, but also listening to understand the other person’s side. It’s clear that you think this is a very serious problem between you and your parents if you’re considering living somewhere else. How will you explain this decision to your parents? How will you contribute to the household you want to move into? How long will you stay there? There are so many questions to consider that we can’t help but suggest sitting down with your mom (or both your parents) to try and work it out before taking this drastic step.
  • When you keep secrets, it creates a rift between you and others.  Are you clear about why your boyfriend is creating a conflict? Is the problem that you are going against your parents’ wishes for you not to date, or that the person you’re dating has some behaviors or beliefs that your parents disagree with, or something else? Is there someone that you can ask to be with you if and when you want to try talking with your parents? It could be a trusted neighbor, that family friend you’re thinking about living with, a guidance counselor or a teacher, maybe another family member. It may feel like a scary idea, but consider whether you could improve communication now, instead of later when you would have the additional problem of leaving home to deal with.
  • The fact that you believe in dealing with your problems is a huge step in the right direction, and shows a positive attitude that’s a great start! We support you in dealing with your problems rather than running from them as long as no one’s safety is at risk. If there’s any concern about your safety, consider contacting the authorities and making sure you have a support plan worked out about a safe place you can go and people that will support you.

Consider This:

  • If you haven’t visited our full site, you may want to consider looking at some of the ideas we have for people dealing with similar situations.  Our “Tools” section has some great ideas for relaxing when you’re stressed, walking you through making difficult decisions and even creating your own support plan.  Maybe one of these will help you on your journey.
  • Do you have any healthy hobbies, activities or interests that you do or can do outside of the house?  Maybe a little time away doing things you enjoy would help as well.  It may give you more time to focus on the things you enjoy doing and less time focusing on what’s making you unhappy.  The problems won’t go away with this, but it can help you settle and get a clear head before any conversations happen.
  • Maybe think about talking to a counselor or another mental health professional about what you’re feeling and the issue with your parents.  They may be able to help you put things into perspective and help you plan ways to work with your parents.  Sometimes an unbiased person can bring clarity to a situation that we oftentimes can’t see ourselves.