I have been dating this guy who I think is amazing. We have perfect chemistry and we have been going out for 2 months. I started pushing ” what are we” and he pulled back and decided to tell me he needs to take things slow, that he is scared, and has his own fears. We live in diffrent countries, he goes out every single day and barely has time to talk to me. He still calls once a day and messages me a very brief, “good morning and good night.”
I haven’t been in a lot of relationships in my life and I don’t know what to do. We barely talk and when I tell him, he says we are connecting and that at this time we don’t need to talk more than we already do. Everyday I feel he is pulling back and I am the one stressing about it and trying with my all to keep this going. He says we live in different countries and that he can’t postpone his friends or family for a phone call with me. According to him the brief text and 10 mins phone call is enough. I am still a virgin, and sometimes he would talk those sexual talks that would get into me and make me feel so special.
I don’t know what to do. Should I wait? Should I move on? I honestly feel we are the perfect match and I know it’s my fault to pressure him. I am unable to deal with this!! How can I convince him I need more? Is he just keeping me as an option, or is he really in to me as he says?
- You are asking all the right questions and it is completely natural to feel the way you are feeling in this relationship.
- You should take the time to reflect on your relationship with this person. Assess your expectations and needs and ask yourself whether he is meeting your expectations. If he is not, and he is unwilling to meet those needs, then it may be time to move on.
- Please understand that when someone likes you, there is very little guessing involved. You will know because the person will make every effort to let you know that they are interested. There would be no need to “convince” the person to like you. If you find yourself feeling like you need to convince the person to like you or spend more time with you, or call you more, then the person may just not be that into you, and it may be time to move on.
- Have a frank conversation with him and try to find out why he is pulling back. You can also let him know how you truly feel. If he is not willing to explain why he is pulling back and/or not willing to address your concerns then it may be time to move on.
- What are the expectations that you have for this guy?
- How would you like to see this worked out?
- If you decide that it’s not working out, what are the ways in which you can move on?