I don’t really know where to start… But I’ll try my best to say what I can. I’m not very good with words nor do I get in trouble often. I feel uncomfortable talking about it but at the same time I would like to share my story because a lot of times I feel alone.
Ever since the end of sophomore year, things have been bad. I will start with my ex. We dated for over a year and five months, I believe it was a year and nine months. He said he wanted a break, and when I tried to tell him we shouldn’t, he still went on. I was extremely heart broken. In summer I went to a summer trip. I met a guy who was interested in me but only wanted me for sex or any sexual stuff. Even though he asked me out multiple times, I told him no the times he asked. When school was about to start his phone broke.
Today we met up again… It was after a meeting I had to attend. The meeting was at a college and he knew the area more than me so I asked for a look around. It lead to us making out and getting into huge trouble by the security. All I wanted was to relieve stress because I’m dealing with a breakup, school, pressure, and my mom slowly losing her job. I never wanted to cause so much trouble…my mom is about to lose her job and she told me this at the end of my sophomore year. I have an older brother in college and I made him upset too because of another trip I attended (but in that trip you HAVE to rely on your teammates). I’m so very worried… I’m worried I’ll be kicked out of the program and being made fun of for what I did with him. We did it in public but it wasn’t sex. However, I know for sure he wanted to have sex badly no matter where we were. Sometimes I feel as if guys do not realize how vulnerable girls are. When girls hook up I heard that they get weird looks unlike guys.
I know it’s a weird story but I’m just having a harsh time right now…
CONSIDER THIS:
- Everyone makes mistakes. It’s easy to focus on the past and the regret you feel, but know that you have more options than that. You can move on, learn from what you did, grow, and remake your reality. You can look to the future and change. You don’t have to tie yourself to your past mistakes.
- You got into an embarrassing situation–nothing more than that. You didn’t do anything evil, you didn’t hurt anyone, you just did something slightly awkward. No need to worry too much over what others think about it– if they judge you, they’re being too harsh. Who cares about what they think– this situation is something you’ll probably laugh at in a few years! What you did with this boy is no one else’s business and does not reflect who you are as a person. On the flip side, things like this can get you in trouble with school and programs, so try to avoid doing silly things that jeopardize your future!
- So you engaged with this boy because you were stressed. Brainstorm for yourself some other, more productive ways you can relieve stress instead. For some people, calming things like taking a bath, doing art, or going on a walk help them with stress. For others, more intense things like sports help them blow off steam. Using these methods instead of romantic interactions will be much better for you and the other person. After all, most people don’t like being used as someone else’s metaphorical stress-ball.
- Focus on the things you can change and try not to stress over what you can’t change. You can control how you promote yourself professionally and give yourself better opportunities in the future– whether you’re aiming for a good job or college. You cannot control your mom’s professional opportunities. If she’s losing her job, that’s for her to worry about. The only thing you can do is see how you can help make life easier for your mom by reducing her stress. Try asking her how you can help– she’s bound to appreciate your help around the house (cleaning, cooking) among other things.
HELP YOURSELF:
- Is what you did with this boy really a big deal? Why or why not?
- How do you think you’ll look at this situation in the future?
- What would you think about someone if they were in the same position as you?
- What are some good ways to relieve stress?
- What can you do to help your mom?
