I don’t know what to do. My dad has tackled me to force a pill into my mouth because I had cramps. We recently got into a 2 hour argument that consisted of him yelling at me while I had a panic attack because he abuses our cat. Aside from the tackling incident, nothing physical has happened, but he has anger management problems and I’m always scared he’ll get mad enough to hurt himself or me. My parents got a divorce when I was young, and I barely see my mom. Even worse, I’m trans (in the closet ftm {female to male}) and my dad is transphobic. I don’t know what to do
HELP YOURSELF:
- Thank you for reaching out to TeenCentral and sharing your story with us. It must be really difficult to go through this struggle with your dad AND also come out as trans at the same time. It may seem like a lot to handle, just remember, your identity and journey is only a journey you can take (with the support of positive people in your life). You got this!
- If you ever feel like your physical or emotional safety is in jeopardy, please reach out to your local law enforcement. It is not ok for your dad to make you feel unsafe. If you don’t feel comfortable calling the police you can always reach out to a crisis text line by texting HELLO to 741-741, 24 hours a day. You deserve to feel safe.
- Identifying or putting a label on your gender identity can be a very scary but also fulfilling experience. Check out our page on LGBTQ. Click here to get a bunch of really good info on coming out or preparing to disclose your gender identity to others. Again- this is a decision that only you can make, if and when you feel comfortable doing so. It’s always good to be ready for whatever response you may receive from your dad or other family members.
CONSIDER THIS:
- Speaking of other people in your life, is there anyone that your have discussed your gender identity or your relationship with your dad with? If you have someone that you can trust (an older sibling, guidance counselor, or teacher) it might be helpful to discuss some of your concerns with how your dad is treating you. Sometimes just getting some of that stuff out can feel like a weight lifted off your shoulders.
- Have you ever considered journaling? When we have a lot of different emotions going on, being able to get those feelings organized on paper can be super helpful. If you were to talk to your dad about being trans what would you want to say to him? Write it down. This could be almost like a letter to him or a “practice run” of what your would want him to know.
- Most importantly– make sure you are taking care of yourself. Being overwhelmed takes a toll on our own well-being. Take time throughout your day to do something that makes you happy. This can be something as simple as taking time to laugh with friends, or taking some deep breathes. Make this mandatory for yourself. You’re already doing an excellent job.
