How can someone feel so alone with a house full of people? I live with my mom, stepdad, grandma, and half-brother but they always make me feel like I’m not there. I have someone in my life that shows that he loves me but my mom can’t seem to let me introduce him to her. My birth dad loves him. Since I live with my mom, I always feel alone. Why can’t she see how damaged I am? My mom and I have never had the best relationship. As a matter of fact, I don’t think we have ever had a relationship. I come home one day with a hickey on my neck and that automatically makes me a hoe. I grew up in a house that never showed love or empathy for one another so how am I supposed to know how to love? My mom would tell me how stupid my feelings were whenever she read my diary. She said I will never know love but I know that’s not true. I just feel so alone when I’m with her. We have gotten to the point where we don’t say one word to each other. It sucks having to hide the one person that shows you love away from your own mother. She just doesn’t understand me. Being a survivor of sexual abuse has been a roller coaster for me. Sometimes I don’t know if I should trust the boy that I am with and other times, if we do something, I know that it is my choice now. When I show that I love him, I just want my mom to know that it takes a lot from me to trust a boy after what happened. Why can’t she just understand I need her? I need the guidance of a mom in my life. But she’s not here. Why do I feel alone when I am with someone?
HELP YOURSELF
- It is difficult to reach out for help and to share your feelings and personal struggles sometimes. Thank you for reaching out to TeenCentral and sharing your story with us.
- You spoke about not only the relationship with your mom, but also the relationship with a boy. Look on the TeenCentral site under the “LEARN” tab there is a section called “Relationships”. This section includes many resources such as “8 Signs of Healthy Relationships” and “8 Signs of Unhealthy Relationships” that may be helpful.
- It is difficult to connect with your parents sometimes, despite wanting their guidance and approval. Is there someone else you can talk to during these times? Maybe a sibling, friend, cousin, or family member. Just being able to vent to someone may be able to help ease some of these tough emotions.
CONSIDER THIS
- It can feel frustrating that your mom is not understanding or accepting of a relationship that is important to you. Have you tried to have a face-to-face conversation with your mom about this? It may be beneficial to first journal/write down the value of this relationship and what this person adds to your life. This will assist you in expressing your feelings to your mom. And think about it? What is the worst she can say? When you are prepared for a conversation, you can better get your points across.
- How can you help yourself with stress and anxiety? Have you ever tried yoga or deep breathing? Or maybe you are more artistic and can express your thoughts through drawing or painting. It is important to have outlets to let your feelings out in healthy ways. Find something that makes you happy so that your mind can be at ease.
