My parents are decent people. They act nice and don’t physically abuse me. But sometimes, when they get mad they will yell loudly, losing their, temper and destroying objects that are sometimes important.
For about 2 years I have felt further from them and more and more like a failure. I would center my whole being and choices based on what would please them to make my life easier. For example, my weight choices. My dad had gotten me a weight-loss video game and began implying that i was getting, well, fat. It kind of insulted me, and made me feel confused, but i brushed it off. Later, when I went to high school, they refused to get me any sort of communication outside of email. I was almost friendless. The loneliness was terrifying. I felt like i was slowly being compressed, until i would break down crying in my room. I would try so hard to please them, because they would always be mad if i spoke out, saying i should be grateful to have been born. And so i went about my life, trying to get good grades, and make them happy. But that kind of life is exhausting and lonely. My mental health became worse and I just wanted to die. I had a ton of stress, and even small things would set me off, leading me to begin self harm. Thankfully I never used actual knives, just sharp objects so I didn’t end up scarring myself. Now that it is summer break, I feel more lonely and useless than ever. But I’ve realized that this parental behavior is unhealthy and I’m working to build myself back up. To all the oppressed teens out there: you’re not alone. My situation may not be as bad as yours, but no matter what you should seek help. Stay safe!
HELP YOURSELF:
- First thing I want to say is thank you, for having the courage to reach out to TeenCentral for guidance. Often times, reaching out for help is very difficult for many reasons. Be proud of yourself for making that big step.
- What you are describing is a very horrible way to feel and pretty serious. Have you ever sat down and talked to your parents about how you are feeling? If seems like it would be too difficult for you to do with your parents, can you think of any other trusting adult you can talk too? How about a guidance counselor, coach, teacher or youth group leader? What about another older family member?Talking and expressing yourself to trusting people can help you work out the issues and get help.
- I know you mentioned that you did not have anything but email as a form of communication, but since you found TeenCentral on a website maybe another website could help as well. You can get immediate responses from the:
Crisis Textline
Available 24/7
Support to all individuals in crisis www.crisistextline.org
- If it just gets to be too much and you have feelings of hurting yourself to point of ending your life you should contact the:
National Suicide Hotline
Available 24/7/365
Go to 988lifeline.org and hit the CHAT button
WHEN YOU ARE READY
- Here on TeenCentral website you can find resources that might help you. Under the Learn Tab click on self-injury. This will give you a better understanding of what self-harm is, why and what to do.
Learn about Self-Injurious Behavior
- In the Tools Tab you can find:
Download a Support Plan
Download Social Skills Practice
Download a Weekly Mood Tracker
Know that you are not alone. You got this!!!
