I just got done with my graduate degree and I am planning to move overseas for my post grad education. It will be another 6 months until I leave. I have been seeing someone for the past 9 months and honestly it is the most perfect thing I have. I met him in my last 6 months of college. He stays in a town far from my home and has his father’s business to look after, once he is done studying. We want to work things out and be together but he cannot alter his future plans. He has asked me to decide whether I want to come back after my post grad or not. I would love to be with him but I don’t know how far will that work out for my career as there aren’t any opportunities for me to work where he lives. I cannot break up with him because everything is so good right now but I also don’t want to string him along, because this may or may not work out later.
CONSIDER THIS:
- Being indecisive about an important decision can make you feel worried and uncomfortable. You are wise to question how this big decision will affect you so you don’t ruin your future.
- In order to come to a conclusion, it might help you to understand what you really want in life. Writing your personal thoughts in a daily journal or notebook could help you piece your thoughts together better so you understand your own true intentions.
- Creative self expression can help you be yourself more by allowing you to express your feelings in a healthy manner. This might help you understand how you really feel about your situation. You can try activities like drawing, painting, creative writing, clay sculpture, coloring in a coloring book or playing a musical instrument among others.
- You can turn to spirituality for help by doing yoga, meditation or prayer. Attend church services and get more involved. Spirituality can help you focus better, think more clearly and gain meaning in your day-to-day life.
- Learning more about romantic relationships could help you understand how one should and should not work so you have a better idea on when you should or shouldn’t leave the person. On the Teen Central website, under the Tools tab, you can download resources called 8 Signs of Healthy Relationships and 8 Signs of Unhealthy Relationships. You may also want to check out books on psychology and relationships from the library or read reputable websites like Psychology Today.
- Everyone needs a fulfilling career or meaningful job because this is a normal part of life. You might want to ask yourself: Does this person have the right to ask you to give up your hopes and dreams while he has the ability to work if you go live with him? He may have the best of intentions but not notice how he could potentially ruin your life. Is he considering your feelings enough?
- It may be beneficial to both of you to have a serious talk like responsible adults. It’s smart not to be afraid to ask all of the questions you feel like asking. Let him ask you questions as well. Ask yourself important questions like: Does he treat you like an equal?
- It’s wise to pay attention to what you don’t like about someone before you take a relationship too far. Can you realistically tolerate his bad habits on a regular basis? Relationships can be very good in the beginning but be a c putting your e mess down the road.
- In order to be happy in a relationship, you have to be happy alone. This means you have to be able to live without the other person. You also have to know yourself and genuinely love yourself.
- You can try telling him how you feel and end the relationship to see how this affects you. If you don’t have much experience with relationships, you can use this time as an opportunity to get to know what you want in a real relationship and maybe even date more.
- It may be best to go on with your career goals and not worry too much. If the person is right for you, you’ll know it without a doubt. You can do research about soulmates by reading books or reputable internet articles.
- You can head to the Teen Central website and click the HELP tab to call one of the hotlines to talk to someone if you need to.
HELP YOURSELF:
- What are the pros and cons of being in a relationship with this person? Do the pros outweigh the cons?
- In what ways could not having a career and pursuing your dreams affect your mental health?
- How would it make you feel if you went to live with this person and had a family with him but had no career? How could having kids (while this person is at work) and putting your career and life on hold for them change your life and force you to face a reality you may or may not want to live in?
