Hey everyone! I’m not sure if it’s okay to ask this question here, but I think it’s still related to psychology. You know, I’ve noticed a thing. Some people, no matter if they’re men or women, might not have very good-looking or delicate facial features. But the way they act and the expressions they have are full of sexual tension and charm, and they’re really sexy. On the contrary, some good-looking guys or girls have nice facial features and a great body, but the overall feeling they give doesn’t make you think they’re very sexy. Some even have no sexual tension or even seem repelling. What’s up with that? How can I increase my sexual tension or charm? Is it just about making my body more sexy? Seems not necessarily. I really want to know the answer.
TO THINK ABOUT FIRST
- First, thank you for reaching out to TeenCentral. Educating yourself and finding resources are excellent ways to work through any thoughts or troubles you’re having. Also, we are ALL ABOUT answering questions here, so bring them on!
- One question and one comment. First the question for you to think about…Wondering why do you feel that you need to make yourself more sexy? We don’t know your age but that is a big factor in this. Because depending how young you are you may want to ask yourself if you’re really ready to attract that kind of attention. But if you’re older and you are at the age where that is important and appropriate for your development and identity, it still begs the question what’s so important about this? You kind of alluded to the fact that you’re happy with your body itself. But you’re looking to attract sexual attention. Who are you looking to attract? Are you hoping to enter into a romantic relationship with a boy or girl? Are you hoping that would lead to physical relationship? Have you already asked yourself all of these questions? Have you really considered all of this in advance of trying to increase your sexual attention? Thinking ahead about what the results will be before you engage in bringing more of this attention upon yourself is very important. You want to make sure you’re attracting the right kind of attention from the right kind of people. The kind of people that are going to treat you right and give you the kind of respect you deserve. So keep that in mind. Now the comment… Attracting people in general no matter what kind you are looking for really comes down to confidence. If you’re happy with your body and you feel that that doesn’t really need to change, which is good — then the important thing is being confident in who you are, what you look like, and what you value. That is what’s going to attract people to you, and if you think about it, that’s probably what attracts people to others who seem to have that essence you’re noticing in them.
- Sometimes there’s something deeper going on when people start wanting more attention from other people. So if you start thinking about this more, and you start to have any dark feelings about life or yourself it’s important that you have a resource to reach out to.
If you ever get to that dark place and feel like there’s no one to talk to about how you feel, please DIAL or TEXT 988 or CHAT at 988lifeline.org. Available 24 hours a day.
OTHER OPTIONS AND TOOLS
- There are a few resources directly on our website that may help. You can learn about ‘Body Image’ here. How we feel about ourselves inside can have an impact on the way others see us. Being positive about yourself is always important when it comes to loving yourself and forming relationships with people. There’s also a great page on what positive and negative relationships look like here.
- GET OUTSIDE / NATURE—Being outside is so important for the mind, body, and spirit. Being outside in sunlight (even on an overcast day) can improve how you feel about yourselves and your growing confidence as young people. And now you know that that is one of the most important things in terms of building healthy relationships with others. Going to parks, pools, or going on hikes with friends are all great ways to relax and have fun. Finding local areas to go for walks/hikes is a great way to clear your mind and feed your freedom. Riding a bike can be so helpful in getting our bodies the exercise it craves. Exercise releases endorphins and can have super positive impacts on our mood and the way others feel around us. If running is more your thing or something you’re interested in getting into, there’s an awesome aerobic running chart here.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out again! You’re always welcome at TeenCentral! And remember, bring on the questions.
