Hi. I’m a sixth grader, and I’m queer. I’m trans, and a lot of trans, gender non-confirming, and non hetero kids get bullied or harassed. I’m really scared to come out to people and my teachers-especially my parents. I’m afraid I’ll get A LOT of hate. I would closet myself, but I really hate being dead named. I’m torn. Can anyone help me? What can I do?
HELP YOURSELF:
- HI! Thank you for reaching out to Teen Central! We’re so glad that you are starting to reach out and look for support as you figure out how to safely let people know more about you.
- Lots of people thinking about coming out have so many questions and want help knowing what the “right thing” is to do. The truth is only you know what’s best for you. There are people that understand your situation really well, and would be happy to talk with you anytime! You can call the Trans Lifeline, which is always available at (877) 565-8860. The other people that may be able to help are the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender National Help Center at 1-800-246-PRIDE (7743) or http://www.glbthotline.org/youth-talkline.html.
- Sometimes, unfortunately, people don’t always accept differences in others. Kids that are coming out and trying to let the world know who they are sometimes have people in their lives that struggle to accept them. This can lead to kids feeling lonely, depressed, and it can become bigger and lead to hopelessness. If you decide to come out to the people in your life, and this happens to you – KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There are people that will support you and help you through this! Consider keeping some of these contacts in a safe place in case you ever need them: Transgender Suicide Hotline at 877-565-8860 or http://www.translifeline.org. You can also contact 1-800-273-8255 or text HELLO to 741741 anytime you need someone to hear you.
- You mentioned that you are really scared to tell your teachers and your parents about coming out. Do you have anyone in your life that you trust to talk to? Maybe a guidance counselor, another family member, or a friend’s parents? Consider who in your life has mentioned anything about the LGBTQIA+ community and the idea that they are an ally or able to be supportive. Sometimes you just need to listen to what people say to know who may be a safe person to start talking to.
WHEN YOU’RE READY:
- Remember, this is your story – your journey. There’s no time limit for when you have to tell people about yourself, and no instructions about how to do it. If you look in our LEARN section, you will find some information about Sexuality that includes information about LGBTQ and coming out that may be helpful as you’re deciding what to do.
- The LGBTQ page talks about considering the pros and cons of coming out to the people in your life. Here’s a pros/cons list for you to use as a start click here.
- In the midst of all of this, remember that taking care of yourself is the most important piece. It’s ok for you to take time to breathe, do things that help you feel calm, peaceful and happy. Check out our LEARN section for information on WELLNESS, and our TOOLS section for some ideas about yoga, meditation and other ways to find some calm.
