I am the youngest out of four, I know what you’re thinking .You must be so spoiled, your parents love you to death! But in reality it sucks! I’m 15 and my sister that still lives with me is still 17. We should’ve grown up close to each other but honestly it feels so one sided. I know everything about her but she knows nothing about me. All my life i’ve been worrying about her, destroying my sleep schedule just to make sure she gets home safe. I always listen to her when she needs to talk but she never does the same. She knows i’m trans and she knows the other people who know. But she still calls me by my deadname. It hurts. A lot. I feel like i’m not good enough for her. It feels like I failed her. I know I shouldn’t feel bad. But it feels like I owe it to her, like i’m in constant emotional debt to her. So I don’t say anything. I just take everything she throws at me. Everyone always tells me she’s trying to be a better sister, but I know she’s not. I know she feels bad. I know she feels like she failed. That I am repeating the same mistakes she did. I am, but unlike her i’m not being stupid about them. I’m smarter when it comes to things like this.
I think that’s why she feels bad, i’ve learned to hide things from watching her.
HELP YOURSELF:
- First thing I want to say is thank you, for having the courage to reach out to TeenCentral for guidance. Often times, reaching out for help is very difficult, so be proud of yourself for making that big step.
- What you have described about your relationship to your sister seems very hurtful especially when you need her as much as she needs you. Relationships are hard and more times than not it’s because of lack of communication. Have you ever sat down and talked to her about how you truly feel? Often times, doing this helps each of you to see where the other is coming from. Start with asking her to have a heart to heart conversation. Explain that you just need to talk about how you are feeling and see if she is open to doing that.
- If you feel as though you cant talk to her is there someone that maybe you can . This could be any trusted adult in your life such as a parent, teacher, guidance, therapist, church affiant , or even a coach. Adults can sometimes be scary to talk to , but they often provide some really great advice.
CONSIDER THIS:
- Journaling before you speak to get your thoughts out on paper might be a good way of expressing yourself. You could use this to prepare yourself for a talk with your sister or someone you trust.
- It is very important to work on yourself and feel more confident in how you communicate with others. In the TOOLS section there is also a tab called Positive Self Talk. Check out ways you can improve how you feel about yourself.
- We also have a great TOOLS resource on Sexuality that I have linked here for you.
- You can also look under the TOOLS section and click on Family . This goes into issues that arise with in family networks and some solutions to help you.
- Always, remember to keep your chin up and look for solutions that will work best for you. Keep growing and keep learning that’s how we get better!
