So I’m a 13 year old girl who’s about to be in 8th grade in a couple of months and I am a lesbian. I found out I was lesbian in 6th grade but I didn’t tell my mom right away. I told my friends just to make sure this is what I really wanted but I was really scared to tell my mom and I didn’t tell her. But then I started looking on the internet and I found that if you’re scared I can write a letter so that’s what I did. I wrote a letter saying how I was scared to tell her and I’m sorry for holding this secret in for so long. But yea I ended up giving it to her and she read it and asked me to come in her room and close the door so I did. So she asked, so what’s up what’s going on and I said what do you mean? I said I like girls and she went off and said YOU CAN’T LIKE GIRLS AND I’M DISAPPOINTED AND YOU CAN’T LIKE GIRLS UNLESS YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GIRL. And at that point I was mad cause she can’t tell me what gender I can and can’t like. that is my choice. And that’s like saying girls can’t know if they like boys or not cause they didn’t have sex with them. and that’s like saying you don’t know if your straight or not cause you didn’t have sex with a boy yet so yea but just.
HELP YOURSELF:
• Thank you so much for writing to us about your story! Talking about such a personal issue like your sexuality can be really difficult and sometimes scary, so we appreciate you trusting us. It takes a lot of strength and courage to come to terms with your own sexuality and even more to share that information with others.
• The process of figuring out your sexuality and then living with that truth is a struggle that many people endure daily. You are not alone and we can help support you through this challenging time. We encourage you to check out some of the stories that others have posted regarding their own experiences with coming out. There are also other helpful resources about LGBT sexuality under the LEARN tab including tips to help with those tough conversations. Click on “Sexuality” and then “LGBTQ”
• Opening up to others about your sexuality is an important step towards being able to live as who you are. Unfortunately it doesn’t always go the way we would like it to and that can be difficult and discouraging. Don’t let that stop you from being the person you want to be or sharing your truth with others who you care about. Are there any other family members or trusted adults you can speak to like a family friend, guidance counselor, or teacher? Another trusted adult may have a better reaction to you coming out and may also help you figure things out with your Mom.
Lastly, if you ever feel distressed to the point that you feel you need to talk to someone immediately and no one you can trust if available please refer to our HELP tab. You may want to try the Crisis Textline by just texting HELLO to 741741 or contacting the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender National Help Center Monday-Friday 1pm to 9pm pacific time Monday-Friday 4pm to 12am eastern time Saturday 9am to 2pm pacific time Saturday 12pm to 5pm eastern time Support for LGBT youth Youth Talkline: 1800-246-PRIDE (7743) http://www.glbthotline.org/youth-talkline.html
CONSIDER THIS:
• You did an awesome job with researching and finding another way to talk to your Mom by writing her a letter. Great job even though it didn’t go as you wanted it to. Writing can still be a really good way to express your feelings. You can even use writing to help you deal with the conversation you had with your Mom. Maybe try answering the following question: Why do I think my Mom responded the way she did? Start there and see where you end up.
• Figuring out your sexuality and telling people about it can be very stressful on top off all the other day to day teenage stress you go through. Don’t forget to take good care of yourself. Make sure you give yourself time to do the activities and hobbies that make you happy and feel good. It could involve things like researching more LGBT information to unrelated things like just going for a walk to get fresh air.
• Another important aspect of helping yourself through this time is surrounding yourself with positive people who support you. Who are these people in your own life and how can you use these connections for support? You could even reach out to LGBT groups if you are looking to talk to people going through similar struggles. A school guidance counselor may be able to help you get some information.
