So.. as a background, I struggle with anxiety and depression in general. I also came out to my parents as gay a couple months ago, which didn’t go well at all. I just felt like I was hiding something all the time, and I had to do something. Most of my friends knew, but that’s different. But now.. I’m thinking I might be transgender. I think subconsciously I knew that being gay would be taken better than “hey, I’m your son.” I’ve felt like this my whole life, even if I didn’t think about it seriously. I remember when I was younger, I would sometimes be mad that I was born a female, because it wasn’t my choice. I also remember thinking that I would grow up to be a guy. I don’t know how I thought that was going to work, I just knew it had to happen. I prayed for it to happen. I’m close to 17 now, so I’ve dealt with the joy of puberty, and it’s always felt wrong. And even when I hang out with some of my best friends who are girls, I feel like a poser, or that I’m faking. I don’t feel like one of them. They love me how I am, so I guess I’m lucky that way. It just feels off. And I’ve always gotten along really well with guys for the most part, and find that I relate to them more. I don’t know.. I just need advice. I definitely can’t bring it up with my parents. My counselor and I have brought it up once or twice, but my next appointment is a month away. I’ve also wanted to maybe bind, but there’s no way to since a binder would have to be shipped, and nowhere around here has anything like that. I don’t know, I just feel so confused. Any advice is greatly appreciated… thank you.
Consider this:
- First, we would like to commend you on having the courage for coming out as gay to your parents. It can be an extremely stressful event, especially when it is tough for the parents to keep an open-mind about the subject. It can also increase the levels of anxiety and depression which can make things even more difficult.
- You are around the age of starting to transition to adulthood. This is a great time to look into your own intuition and figure out if this is something that you really want to transition into or stay where you’re at. It’s okay to be confused and to change your mind; it’s all a part of the growing process!
- It is great that you have moral support with your best friends! Don’t be afraid to depend on them as a source of moral support and they are also great to utilize as a resource for bouncing new ideas or having deep conversations. It may be helpful to reach out to the LBGTQ community or look into online websites for additional resources.
- It may take a little while for your parents to open up to the idea of their daughter being transgender. Try to be patient with them. They may need more time to adjust but it is important to maintain an open dialogue with them; even when it can be very difficult.
- Seeing a counselor is a wonderful way to get help and feedback with this issues. During times of elevated stress, it may be a good idea to increase your visits with them if it is possible. The counselor may also be able to help think of good ways to discuss being transgender with your parents.
Help Yourself:
- When you think about the next 10 years, how to do see yourself?
- What are some resources that could be utilized in the LBGTQ community?
- How can you start to have an open discussion with your parents about changing your gender identity?
- What are some ways you could help create positive self-discovery?
