Hello Teen Central! I have been struggling lately with school, friends and my life. Firstly I feel like I havent always been a shy person because when I was younger I was so confident and happy but ever since we moved which almost a few years ago things have changed a lot. People at my new school weren’t really welcoming and I didn’t have friends for first half of the year and then when I did most were fake and I felt really left out. I really just miss my old school and old friends till this day and I am in no longer in contact with them and I wish I was. After that first year leaving with a new friend I was a little happy. The next wasn’t the best because there was this one girl who one day was sitting alone and I invited her to sit with us and she did.
Everything was going ok because she was nice but then she turned really fake and toxic. She would always copie off my test and it was mostly me and sometime she would be mad at us for no reason and she would always steal my stuff and lie saying she didn’t because one time we went to the book fair and I got a book that I was so excited about and later that day I realized it wasn’t in my backpack anymore so I ask my teacher and my friends including the girl if they have seen it and she lied to my face and said no anyways the teacher literally put up a picture of the book online and said has anyone seen this book for me and everyone said no and she literally was right next to me and the teacher mad a discussion to the whole class and just sat there like nothing was wrong anyways later the principal found out and she got in trouble.
After that there was always drama with her and I would always cry and my parents have noticed how sad I have been the past months o that summer I took therapy and I’m so grateful that I had an amazing therapist. Then I thought the next year would be the best year ever it definetly was not because first year of middle school. So everyone is rude and has there groups and they all hated me. Why? Because I was still friends with the toxic girl and they all hated her which I understand but I don’t even like her either I was just scared that in the school year she would make rumors about me in school so I stayed which I regret so much. But I get it if you don’t like someone but just cause you think were besties doesn’t you give me nasty looks too but either way everyone is just so rude especially the popular girls like I literally did nothing do them.
So that year completely sucked and I still have my therapist I just didn’t talk over the summer. I don’t know about everyone but my experience with school counseler litteraly awful like the one I have litteraly knows nothing about feeling and made this year literally even more worse for me she litteraly is my number one enemy. Anyways I have been struggling a lot with mental health thinking Im better dead. All the popular girls are rude and I justt wanted a lot of friends at first but later you realize that having just one true friend that is there for you is way better than a group. But another reason is people don’t care about others feelings until the person has passed away so if I do that would be the reasons to show toxic girl and every other rude person in my life to show how bad they hurted me. Anyways Im still friends with toxic girl and I don’t know how to leave because shes has gotten better but idk if I should keep being her friend and how to leave. Thank you TeenCentral and [friend] rest in peace beautiful soul and I hope her family is doing ok! Love you [friends] and ofc her best friend!
THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW
- You seem to be experiencing some really frustrating and challenging times. Firstly, thank you so much for reaching out to the TeenCentral community! Connecting with us is an amazing way to empower yourself and gather some guidance through your struggles.
- Sometimes when another person dies it can make us wonder what it would be like, and if we are having a hard time in life, we may have some unsafe thoughts – thoughts that make us even wish we might die, like you were writing about. But our advice to you is find a way to COPE with your feelings and go on surviving these difficult years. We can help!
- When you ARE having those unsafe feelings or like there’s no one to talk to about how you feel, please reach out to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. They are available 24 hours a day by just dialing 988. That’s ANY TIME OF DAY – ANY DAY OF THE YEAR. You can also text “HOME” to 741-741 if that’s more comfortable. Same thing – any day, any time. Help is literally a text away.
- You said your parents have noticed that you’ve been upset. It sounds like they have tried to help you by taking you to a therapist. Can you talk to them? Would they be able to listen to your thoughts and feelings? They may surprise you with how willing they may be to support you!
CONSIDER THIS
- Struggles with friendships and relationships can be very difficult to navigate. We have an incredibly helpful sections on our site such as “Tools” section and a “Learn” that might give you some fresh ideas to help deal with toxic friendships. There’s also a cool worksheet in our tools section on social skills. You mentioned a desire to have some true, healthy friendships. The social skills paper isn’t meant to imply you don’t have good social skills already, but it can help in refreshing you on the important things in building healthy connections with people.
- You talked about having some trouble dealing with defeating thoughts. From the “Learn” section on our homepage there’s a lot of information on depression. There’s also a helpful printout called the “Weekly Mood Tracker.” It’s a way of keeping track of our emotions throughout the week and the steps we’re taking to help ourselves. Things like mood charts and gratitude lists (making a list of things you’re grateful for) are excellent ways to learn about ourselves and help regulate our negative emotions as well as teach us new skills to stay positive.
- It’s wonderful that you have a therapist you can connect with. Therapy is such a beautiful way to express ourselves and gather help in tough times. Continue to stick up for yourself and empower yourself! And lastly, thank you so much for reaching out to TeenCentral, and feel free to do so again as your words are always heard! Remember to find ways to COPE with your feelings. The world needs you in it!
