My ex-boyfriend and I broke up almost 2 years ago. We were best friends who dated for a year, but after he went abroad to study he changed and we broke up, and we never talked again. I am with a great guy now who treats me so well and he makes me so incredibly happy, and even my ex has a new girlfriend. A friend of mine follows my ex on Instagram, and I keep using her account to stalk him and his girlfriend. He treats her so much better than he treated me. He made a whole issue about the fact that, although both of our families were of the same religion, they had slightly different beliefs. His parents told him that he shouldn’t compromise on them; this created problems. Within three months of his going abroad, we broke up because he refused to make time for me. He also asked me interrogating questions about my beliefs even though I didn’t know much. He seemed extremely relieved to get rid of me. I never texted him again. His new girlfriend has a completely different religion. It hurts that he made me feel bad about my beliefs, but now, is completely accepting hers. He broke my heart completely.
A few days ago, out of the blue, he texted me wanting to be friends. I found out that he is back home for the holidays. I answered politely but coldly, telling him it’s not possible. He told me to stop hating him and to drop the grudges. I told him there are none. I sent him “K”‘ as a reply wanting to end the conversation but he texted further to prolong it. I responded with an emoji and he replied, “Oh, well…” and ended the conversation. Then the next day I discussed it with a mutual friend. That very evening he sent me a screenshot of that friend telling him to not make an effort, etc. I asked him why he sent me that and he said just randomly as if he was teasing me. I sent a curt reply and he responded with an emoji. Our conversation ended there. I find myself wanting a conversation with him. I don’t want to be in a relationship with him but for some reason I want him to message me so I can insult him. He recently sent me a request on Instagram and I am considering accepting it so he can see me looking pretty and happy in my pictures. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I never want to think about him again. He is inconsiderate. I just need to stop obsessing over this. Why do you think he contacted me? Should I accept the Instagram request? How do I stop obsessing?
CONSIDER THIS:
- It is perfectly common to feel confused about an ex and many people hold some type of feelings for their exes for quite a while after the relationship is over.
- Sometimes irritation can be a cover-up of another feeling. Think about how you truly feel about this person and how it ended.
- Closure helps some people in situations such as this. Consider having a heart-to-heart with your ex to get your feelings off your chest and try to come to an understanding to either move on or rekindle things.
- Think about why your ex-boyfriend may be reaching out to you for friendship now. You stated that you were best friends at one point. Think about the friendship you shared.
HELP YOURSELF:
- Does your new boyfriend know how you feel about your ex-boyfriend? If not, how would he feel?
- How did you feel during the relationship? And how do you feel about your current relationship?
- Why do you care if your ex sees how happy you look on Instagram? Are there still feelings there? If so, does his attitude toward you warrant those feelings?
