I’m confused. So I’m 19, my girlfriend is 18. Today me and my girlfriend had an argument, Yet I don’t know why it became an argument. So I had just gotten back from seeing my dad (who I see once a week as I live in a student house with my girlfriend and 3 others) and throughout the day I’d been feeling a bit off and didnt know why. When I got back my girlfriend and one of my friends had ordered food. So when my girlfriend went to the bathroom I decided to talk to her about how I felt. I asked her why she never wanted to see me when I was with my dad and why she had takeaway today when yesterday I had offered to order takeaway and she said she couldn’t afford it.
She said that she didnt want to see my dad because before he has said that she can’t hold down a job and that he’s said that if she can’t do this then why would she move in with just me next year. She also believes that he doesn’t like her. However, he does like her, he’s said that stuff before because he’s worried about her. He always asks how she is etc., but I don’t mind that she doesn’t come out, but I then asked: “so what if I went to see him for a couple of days, wouldn’t spending time with me matter” and she just said that she sees me all the time and that it doesn’t, that she’d just stay home and leave me to go see him. This upset me a bit because if she went away I’d go with her (if she asked) so that I could spend time with her. Her answer to the takeaway thing was just “you had gone out, we were hungry, you said you’d get me one anyway so I just bought one” which to me just makes me feel like she doesnt want to spend time with me. To make it worse throughout this she was getting more and more annoyed and began yelling, and when I mentioned to her that I felt like I couldn’t talk about stuff like this, she pretty much didn’t care and ended up telling me to leave because I said I felt like I couldn’t speak to her. I feel like maybe I’m in the wrong.
Even if I apologize, she won’t speak to me and will stay annoyed at me for a while, or she will say something that might be hurtful (as she’s said she thinks about stuff like this when she’s annoyed). So I don’t know, I love her and believe she loves me, I was just trying to talk about an issue and it became an argument because she got annoyed. I kept apologizing to her but it didn’t help. I dont know, I feel like I can’t talk about certain things with her because she gets annoyed and yells or makes me feel like its my fault. I haven’t been feeling the best lately anyway as there are issues with the house I’m in that are putting me down. She knows this but I don’t know. I love her, and want to be with her, but why can’t I talk about stuff like this with her? It just always ends with me in the wrong and her annoyed. Help, please. I’m confused.
CONSIDER THIS
It is difficult to be in a relationship and in fact there will be many disagreements and arguments in a relationship.
You should try talking to her when you and her are both not annoyed with one another. Explain to her how you feel about things and ask her about how she feels as well. Try to compromise so that both parties will leave the conversation feeling like their issues were addressed.
Sometimes people react in certain ways because they are going through some kind of internal issue. Talk to your girlfriend and try to see if she is going through her own problems, which may cause her to act annoyed with you. Find out what the issue is, if there is one, and try to resolve it with her.
You can also just try being patient with her, which it sounds like you are trying to do already. Being patient in the relationship can include, listening attentively, managing your emotions, and keeping calm.
HELP YOURSELF
Why do you think your girlfriend gets angry and annoyed during an argument?
How can you understand your girlfriend more so as to avoid arguments in the future?
What are the ways in which you and your girlfriend can keep the peace?
