Coping Mechanism

Lately I been grieving over of being abandoned or rejected. I get these mixed emotions all at once to the point it physically hurts. I want to improve on how to cope better whenever I’m triggered by rejection and abandonment, but it’s so hard to find solutions. I get so easily upset and jealous I rely on cutting myself. What can I do to improve or find new coping mechanism??..

Things You Can Do Right Now:

It seems like you’re going through a very difficult time. We want to start by saying thank you, for trusting the TeenCentral community with your story. Be proud of yourself for reaching out for help.
Dealing with rejection and abandonment can be very difficult and hurtful. It can be a form of grief. On TeenCentral under the “Learn“ tab, we have a section on called Grief and Loss. It talks about what grief looks like and ways to help you cope. Check it out.
It’s normal to get upset and jealous when put in these situations. However, finding more positive ways to deal with those emotions are important. Have you considered talk to someone about how you’re feeling? Think about it. Is there a family member you are close to? A friend to whom you feel comfortable expressing yourself or even someone at school like a guidance counselor or mentor? Being able to get these feelings out might help feel like a weight is lifted off your shoulders.
Please note if you ever feel like you have no one to turn to and you feel unsafe or feel like cutting there is always someone available through the Crisis Text Line, simple text “HOME” to “741741“. They are available 24/7, someone is always just a text away.

Where To Go From Here:

There are many coping skills available to you. Check out some of these options and see if it helps, they can all be found under the “Tools” tab on TeenCentral.

Music Tool – music can be a great coping skill as it can be a form to release emotions through songs. Check out Music Tool Activity to get you started.
Support Plan – have you considered identifying your support plan? Sometimes people around us help us feel better when we are down, those people can be part of your support plan. Check out My Support Plan Activity.
Journaling – sometimes writing down our thoughts and feelings is a way to express ourselves rather than keeping it bottled up inside. Some journal prompts can be – 1) How am I feeling today and why? 2) Something that’s bothering me currently. 3) Where can I go from here? If you are not sure how to get started with journalling there is a blog on TeenCentral that might be able to help. READ HERE
Positive reminders – sometimes it helps to focus on the positive things each day no matter how small it may be. That can show up how strong we are and how far we’ve come. Check out this Positive Reminder Card you can use daily.