My mom and dad are split-up and I haven’t been to my dad’s in around two months. I don’t really want to go over there because his girlfriend just moved in and it’s going really fast. I didn’t even know the name of her daughter until last week; they moved in a month ago. She’s really rude and brings out the worst in him. They judge anybody they see on the street and it’s disgusting of them to do that. When he asked me of what I thought if she moved in I said that I didn’t want that to happen. He told me, “Too bad, because she’s moving in next week.” I want to tell him the reason I’m not going over there, but I know that he will say that my opinion doesn’t matter, because everything’s going to stay the same. I know that he will choose her over me. He texted me the other day and said “hey stranger, I haven’t seen you in awhile, I don’t even know what you look like.” That makes me feel really bad about myself. My friends don’t know I’m sad. I just don’t know how I feel though. I’m probably being over dramatic. It doesn’t matter anyway.
CONSIDER THIS
- It is very hard when things change within the family. A big change of someone moving in can be real hard and it can take time to get used to the idea that this is happening. Although your situation is unique to you and your family, rest assured that many other teens can relate to your dilemma.
- Maybe you can talk with a friend or a trusted adult about how you are feeling. Sometimes it helps to talk with someone that is not close to the situation to get a different perspective of the situation.
- Though it is your choice to not see your father, maybe you should tell him that you need time to process through this change and that you still care for him if that is true for you. Other people cannot read your mind and letting him know this could help him maybe make an effort to understand why you feel the way you do.
- Take time to do something you enjoy. It could be spending time with your friends, exercising, watching your favorite movie, drawing or writing, etc.
- There are resources available to you on-line that you may find helpful. Reach out to someone, anyone to talk to about what you’re feeling right now.
HELP YOURSELF
- What would happen if you talked with a friend or trusted adult about how you are feeling about the situation with your dad?
- How do you feel about writing your dad a letter that expresses all the feelings you’re going through while trying to process this transition?
- What are some other ways to let your dad know that you need sometime to process what is happening in a positive way?
- What are some things that you can do right now that make you feel happy?
- What would happen if you reached out for resources about others struggling with a change in their family dynamics?
