Coming “out” to my parents in terms of mental health and suicide.
The summer going into 8th grade (2018) I took a bunch of pills not really thinking about it. I didn’t think it was a big deal but it was labeled a suicide attempt (in my parents eyes) and I went to therapy for about a year. I then made the decision to stop going, not because I was feeling better but because therapy doesn’t work (for me, personally). I never got better. I was diagnosed with depression while in therapy, but I never got to be 100% honest with my therapist. I was too scared and too shy to ever mention the realness of my problems and the other things I was going through (ED tendencies and self harming). Going into high school I was fine, with some depressive episodes, but spring semester was really hard, especially with COVID-19. I’m a sophomore now, and I can’t stop self harming. i’ve never explained to anyone the entirety of my mental health, because I’m scared to cause problems and be a burden. I’ve been self harming for the past year. I’ve attempted suicide 3 times and I still have suicidal thoughts. I don’t know how to tell my parents this. They’re supportive, they’re not toxic and they always want what’s best for me; the problem is that I don’t deserve them and don’t want to hurt them. I can’t talk to them. I love them, I just don’t like them. I don’t want to go back to therapy, but I do think I need treatment. I don’t know what to do. I’m not expecting a response, I just wanted to vent. I’ve never told anyone this before.
HELP YOURSELF:
- It must have been very difficult to share such personal information about yourself. Thank you for trusting the TeenCentral community and sharing your story. We want you to feel supported, and we want you to be here.
- If at any point, you start to contemplate suicide please call contact the suicide prevention lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. There are professional counselors there that will listen to what you have to say, the call is also available 24/7, it’s confidential and it’s toll-free.
- You may want to explore the TeenCentral website especially under the “LEARN” tab and click the “Depression”, “Self-Injury” and “Suicide” tabs. All of these sections can help give you some insight and comfort to handle your emotions right now.
- It is very brave of you to be so open with your emotions and talking to others about your struggles with depression. Outside of your parents, is there another trusted adult in your life that you can talk to, such as a guidance counselor at school, or another trusted adult? They can also provide insight, advice, comfort and encouragement when you are going through a tough time. Remember- therapy isn’t a quick fix. It may take time to talk through some of those big emotions, don’t get defeated.
CONSIDER THIS
- What you are going through is difficult. When you are going through a tough time, how about writing your feelings in a journal? Writing helps us to think problems through, brainstorm, and figure out ways to do things better.
- If writing is not your thing, how about exercise? Running, jogging or just taking a walk, can be just the thing you need to clear your mind and begin to feel better about yourself.
- Reading self-help books, especially those geared toward suicide and depression would also be extremely helpful in dealing with your issues. Someone has gone through what you are going through, and they have been able to overcome. You can, and you will, if you are committed to your recovery. Read a book, geared toward suicide and depression and you may find that it will change how you view the world around you and and help you establish healthier ways to handle stressful situations.
