My friend started dating a player from our school in December. He is a sexually active person. Before they started dating, he told my friends that he wanted to have sex with her and that she was hot. My friends told her about this but she did not care about what he said. He seems to be nice to us but I think he might have sneaky intentions.
I need advice for not caring if they start having sex and I happen to find out. I know my friend is allowed to do whatever she wants and I am nobody in her way to stop her. I also cannot afford to be worrying about her since I just started college recently and we all go to different colleges. She has a close relationship with her parents and she has them to talk to if she needs anything. It just makes me feel awkward whenever I hear about them.
I asked one of my friends what she thinks about him and she says she doesn’t like him anymore, and that she knows a reason why they should not be together. Another friend believes that she may have been drinking or got drugged recently. I really do not know what to believe. Was she drunk/drugged or was she just tired because it was past midnight? She just says she does not remember.
I do not ask her anything about her relationship because my friends are already in her face about it. This is all what I am hearing and everyone seems concerned.
CONSIDER THIS:
- Friends make bad decisions and unfortunately it affects others close to them as well. It is concerning when a friend is making decisions that may put her in harm’s way. You are a good friend for caring and being willing to seek guidance through this.
- Plan a girls day with just the two of you or invite a few others. Have a conversation about her safety and how she may be putting herself in bad situations. She may need some girl talk and be willing to open up about her feelings and relationship.
- Get someone else involved that she may listen to. Since she sounds like she has open communication with her parents, getting her mom involved may be a good idea.
- If you and your friends have already brought up your concerns about him, she may just need some time. Her infatuation with him now may be overshadowing her judgement.
- Try to not overthink this situation. You have just started college and will be experiencing life. Study, meet new people, make new memories and have fun.
HELP YOURSELF:
- When it comes to your friend’s safety, how much of it is really in your control?
- How might involving her parents or a counselor help the situation?
- How has her behavior in general been altered since she’s been dating this guy?
- If you were in a situation similar as your friend’s, how would you like your friend to approach you when he/she does not agree with your actions?
