Engulfed in Sadness

Unfortunately, I’m back. I was doing alright for a while. I cut my thigh a little some time ago but the feelings quickly left. But now I’m getting engulfed in sadness again and I feel so incredibly lonely. I don’t really want to relapse…maybe I do…I don’t know. Whatever. I started having a kind of big crush on someone but know he’s dating an ex-friend of mine which always feels great/strong sarcasm. I don’t even know anymore. I’m always on waves, up and down and up and down. Oh, not mention my dad was a jerk again. He got mad at me for something that didn’t happen the way he thinks it did. When I tried to stand up for myself he shot me down as usual. He told me I’m mean to him and that what I said hurt his feelings. I told him he’s hurt my feelings numerous times including our current situation but I can still be calm in discussion. He said that if I feel guilty about what he told me then that’s on me. So that was wonderful, having the dad who abused you your whole life just reconfirmed what you’ve been teaching yourself not to believe. That it isn’t my fault. Because according to him it always is. To top all of the beautiful week I’m having off, my friends all feel distant and I’m completely alone at school:)

CONSIDER THIS:

Depression can make you feel lonely and like no one cares about you. You are strong for enduring abuse and for making an honest effort to get through your problems alone.
Knowledge is power. Head to the Teen Central website to empower yourself about your issue. Click the Learn tab then Depression. If you need further help you can click the Help tab then call one of the hotlines.
Your dad’s behavior is irresponsible. Instead of placing blame on you he should take responsibility for his own actions. You are definitely not to blame. You’re the child and he’s the parent. This should be clear to him but it isn’t. You may want to kindly suggest therapy to your dad. Share your feelings with a trusted adult who can help guide you.
Be firm in your convictions. Know the difference between right and wrong in situations with you and your dad. No matter how many times your dad blames you for doing nothing wrong you have the right to know the truth. If you’re right, you’re right.
Let these conflicts with your dad make you stronger. See a trusted therapist if necessary. If you and your dad seek therapy together you must make it clear that your dad won’t take responsibility for his actions and it’s not your fault. A good therapist will listen to you and your dad equally and will not blame you because you’re a kid.
Continue to be strong by not letting your dad bring you down. Instead, you can try to understand that your dad may be immature.
Be yourself by not letting anyone change you no matter what.
You can be creative if you’re lonely. Creativity can also help you express your feelings when you feel hurt boy your dad. You can write down your feelings by keeping a daily journal. Activities to try are sculpture, drawing or painting among others. Or you can read a book, watch a funny movie or read inspiring quotes.
Writing down your feelings could help you piece them together in your mind so you can understand how to deal with them.
It’s harder to be lonely when you’re busy. You can volunteer for a cause you care about. Some causes to consider are helping children, animals and the environment.
It might help you feel in control of your life to become more responsible. Responsibilities include taking care of a pet, doing chores or getting a part-time job.
You can learn patience by understanding that difficult times pass and there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Be positive. Everything happens for a reason. You can learn about being more spiritual by heading to the Teen Central website and clicking the Learn tab then Spirituality. You can also try prayer, meditation or yoga to gain acceptance, meaning and understanding of your situation.