Friends are people who are always there for you when you need them. When I started high school, none of my friends were there. I waited for some time for somebody to talk to me. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, months turned to years. When I finally had the courage to talk to somebody, that person looked at me like a creep. It happens almost everyday. I always eat lunch alone, people never want to do anything with me, and I come home crying, because of my loneliness. I told my parents this problem for the first time after my freshman year, and they were shocked. They suggested trying to talk to people, but because of the people’s mean-spirited attitudes, I couldn’t. After that, they get fed up whenever I bring up the problem. What’s worse is that everybody in the school not only has friends, but they also have boyfriends/girlfriends. I’m literally the only person in all of my high school that is friendless and girl-friendless. Now that I’m about to finish high school next year, I’m worried this lonely phase would escalate to a problem with no solution to the point I might commit suicide. I’ve tried everything, but after 3 years, still no luck. What can I do?
CONSIDER THIS:
- Having no friends can make you feel frustrated and alone. You are strong for tolerating the mean people around you even though it constantly has a negative affect on your life.
- Bullies affect more people than you may think. Knowledge is power. You can go to the Teen Central website and click the Learn tab then Bullying to read more. You can also click the Suicide tab to learn about this issue. If you need someone to talk to you can click the Help tab and call one of the hotlines. The Tools tab has many useful resources to download. Or you can speak to a trusted therapist, school counselor or religious leader if you’d like.
- Some people are naturally different than those around them. Instead of trying too hard to fit in, you can embrace your uniqueness by just being yourself. Learn to enjoy spending time alone by doing the things you enjoy and taking care of your health. Love yourself for yourself. A real friend will genuinely care about you for you.
- The people around you may have friends but since they treat you so badly they probably aren’t real ones. You might be the only genuine person in your school since you’re the odd one out. Maybe this just means you have higher standards when choosing friends. You know what a real friend is since you probably are one. This is smart no matter what anyone thinks. Therefore, you might do better by interacting with people who are on your level who you can actually respect. This means searching for friends outside of school. You can join a sport, reading group or try an activity as an individual to find someone who truly understands and values you.
- You can be yourself by expressing your feelings with creativity. Creative writing, painting and playing a musical instrument are just some ways to express your unique personality.
- You can let negative situations make you stronger by being positive. Always try to find something you can learn and see a bright side to things when someone hurts your feelings.
- You can get a pet to spend quality time with. If you take good care of an animal they’ll give you unconditional love in return.
- Try focusing on something positive which will make you genuinely happier. For example, getting good grades in school will help you get smarter and have a job you’ll love when you get older.
- Rather than hating others for their horrible treatment of you, you can make the situation positive by using the energy to volunteer for a good cause. You might even be able to find real friends with positive attitudes who think like you. You might want to be a crisis counselor, volunteer to help others who are bullied or plant a garden or trees to help the environment. Foster or adopt a pet from a shelter to save an innocent animal’s life. Some charities include American Red Cross, Habitat for Humanity or Meals on Wheels among many others. Volunteermatch and other websites can help you find a good match.
- You can try to find meaning in your situation by being more spiritual. On the Teen Central website click the Learn tab then Spirituality to read about the subject. Prayer, meditation and yoga are useful spiritual techniques. You can download a Yoga Pose Resource. Attend church services if you’d like to become more involved in spirituality.
- Being patient will help you tolerate loneliness. Real friends are worth waiting for.
- You can use a daily journal to write down all of the things you’re grateful for or just express your feelings. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself to remain hopeful. Inspire yourself by reading stories or watching movies about people who’ve beat their problems to come out on top.
HELP YOURSELF:
- In what ways is it better to have genuine friends who love you as yourself rather than fake ones?
- In what ways does committing to a positive mindset change your outlook on life?
- Can you make a list of all of the qualities you want in a good friend?
- How does being ethical give your life meaning?
- For what reasons should everyone have higher standards when choosing friends?
- In what ways is it smart to be the better person by being ethical?
- How can you turn your good intentions into something which could potentially change peoples’ lives for the better?
