I had a falling out with one of my close friends in December of 2016. Last month, we recently met up just to hang out. We didn’t talk about what happened nor do we plan on it. I constantly am in this battle with myself to let her be my friend or just to drop the friendship. I did try getting over it but sometimes I feel like it’s not worth rekindling the friendship, especially because I feel like she took my best friend away from me in this fight that we had as well. I still hang out with her when we’re all in groups, but some times I feel like I’m trying too hard when I don’t want to try at all. Should I continue to pursue and strengthen this friendship or let it go?
CONSIDER THIS:
- Falling out with a close friend can cause a lot of mixed emotions. It’s understandable to feel hurt but miss the friendship you shared.
- Take time to evaluate the friendship before your falling out, and also how your friend has treated you since. Does she try as hard to be friends as you do in group settings? If she was a great friend and seems to want to try to save your friendship, try to think about how things could be fixed. If you don’t feel she was a good friend or wants to try again, it may be best to move on and focus on making your other friendships stronger.
- Developing a plan to talk with her may help you to get past hurt feelings. This doesn’t mean you have to talk about what happened. You could express to her that you valued the friendship and would like to find a way to forgive each other.
- Discussing what happened with a parent or trusted adult may help you to develop a plan of what to say. This could help make sure that the conversation stays positive and doesn’t cause the two of you to fight more.
HELP YOURSELF:
- How would it make you feel to have the friendship back?
- Is what happened between the two of you something that still matters?
- Do you feel you were a good friend to her? Is there anything you could do to be a better friend?
- In your heart-of-hearts, how would you like this situation to be resolved?
