I have had family problems really since I was born. My dad could never keep a job and turned to stealing from me and my mom. He sold my birthday and Christmas gifts and stole our money for things like tobacco. It was always the same deal he steals something mom finds out and kicks him out for a little while then he’s sorry and back to the start. But more recently things got worse my dad never had money so he always was getting stopped by the law and getting tickets. And about 10 months ago he got into an accident and got loads of tickets. He didn’t have the money to pay them so that was always there. Then everything fell apart. One night me and my mom come home and we can’t find him so we look all over the house and we find him on the floor in our living room passed out. He knows nothing and is acting crazy he falls down our basement stairs and tries to fix the oven we somehow get him to go to sleep. Next morning we talk to his son from a previous marriage and he comes to stay with him. A couple of days later he finds him like that again and we call 911. At the hospital the doctor says he has a large amount of anti depressants in him and that’s the cause. He is not on them so we think he went and bought them because mom says that some nights she has found the car keys somewhere else than she left them. So fast forward 4 months and he gets arrested for the tickets and trying to pass 18 bad checks. I was a little bit happy because by now mom has told me everything. He can’t post bail so he stays in jail righting letters and we keep getting calls from his other son originally for bail but now for his clothes to be cleaned or for extra food. Apart from the letters I have forgotten about him thinking because of his big rap sheet he’ll be gone for a long time. About 6 months ago someone knocked on the door and it was him. Apparently he got 2 years parole for it. By then I hated him for what he did and wouldn’t talk to him. He kept coming around though and I eventually started talking to him to. We are back to the present and he got a job and started giving us money but it doesn’t matter much. Mom started dating someone else so. I just don’t know how to feel about him. I hate him for the things he’s done but at the same time he is my dad so I just want some closure over the hole thing.
HELP YOURSELF:
- You have been going through a lot of very intense situations lately. All of these events are very mature issues that can bring along a lot of mixed feelings; anywhere from hatred and anger to pain and sadness. Remember, it’s ok to feel all of those different things. Thank you for reaching out to the Teen Central community with your story. Many other people might be going through similar issues.
- It was very brave of you to call 911 when you felt your dad was in danger. It is super important to make sure that if you ever feel like you (or a family member) need immediate assistance, don’t hesitate to seek out emergency help. You can also text the crisis textline with “HELLO” to 741 741 for 24 hour a day assistance.
- It seems like you and your mom have the type of relationship that you can vent some of these intense feelings to her. Because the situation with your dad has been going on for a while now, she may be empathetic to how you feel about it. If you feel like you can’t open up to your mom, is there another adult in your life that you can open up to? A trusted neighbor, older peer, or a counselor that you’ve talked to? Getting some of your emotions out might help get you some of that closure that you’re looking for.
CONSIDER THIS:
- Since you may be feeling a lot big emotions right now, you want to make sure you are allowing yourself to be you. Keeping your mind at ease may be beneficial to your well being. Try taking time for yourself everyday to do something that makes YOU happy. Keep those activities on a daily tracker. Challenge yourself to do something everyday!
- Something as simple as getting outside will change your mindset and let some of your angry feelings go. Take a walk around the block to clear your head. When your mind isn’t so overwhelmed with emotions, you can communicate more effectively.
- If you can’t get outside, try a little meditation inside. Go to a quiet area and let your mind relax in the silence. If meditation is something new for you, guess what? There’s an app for that. Download a helpful app on your tablet or smartphone to help guide you through your meditation practice. You will feel a difference even after your first time. Remember your well-being is the number one priority during these stressful times.
