I am currently dealing with a complicated family situation. I am married and currently, my husband’s sister is staying with us due to an eviction. However, she is a very toxic individual who is taking advantage of my husband, and myself. She depended on my husband the entire time to help pay her rent. She also knew she had this issue of being evicted months ago but didn’t take it seriously. She knew my husband would help her out if she messed up. She accused me of taking a ride from another guy from the gym near my house. I don’t understand why she did that. It caused a small fight between me and my husband though. She recently had a job offer back home. She purposely gave a bad answer to avoid working to come back here. She always plays the victim but she is a grown woman. She wasted a lot of my husband’s money on more than a few occasions. She is leaving in a month because I put my foot down with my husband. However, talking about her causes a lot of tension. I also don’t want her to keep taking advantage of my husband. Please give me advice.
CONSIDER THIS:
- Tolerating difficult people can make you feel alone and frustrated. You are strong for enduring all of the problems this person has caused you even if you’re honesty isn’t acknowledged.
- Be realistic. If you continue to tolerate your husband’s sister it may affect your health or other areas of your life. You may want to ask yourself if she’s worth tolerating for your husband’s sake. Manipulative people have a tendency to ruin relationships while everyone just watches it happen. Would you be able to stay married to your husband if he continues to ignore your feelings?
- Maybe your husband won’t listen to you because he agrees with her bad behavior and doesn’t want to say. You may want to have a serious talk about how much the situation bothers you. If your husband doesn’t listen you may need to end the relationship if your standards are that important to you.
- You and your husband may benefit from marriage counseling since there may be some underlying reason why he doesn’t want to listen to you about his sister. You may want to ask yourself why your husband can tolerate her and you cannot. In other words, your standards may be too high for your living situation and the people around you.
- You can be prepared for her next subtle attack by living by the rules and the law. If she continues, be smart and hold her to it by sticking to your ethical standards.
- You’re probably getting angry because your husband’s sister is crossing your boundaries by making you consider lowering your standards. Continue to be yourself and don’t lower your moral and ethical standards for anybody. Everyone needs to love themselves and make personal progress so don’t let anyone hold you back in life.
- You may want to end your relationship with your husband’s sister. Her manipulative ways could get you in trouble down the road. If your husband doesn’t like it, is he really worth it?
- Consider the importance of your life as an individual. Consider where your decisions could lead you by being logical. How much does this really affect you? Is your husband’s sister’s behavior that invasive? If it’s too invasive you may need to reevaluate your relationship with your husband.
- You may want to make an effort to be selfless and ask your husband’s sister to get some help by seeing a trusted therapist. If she refuses she’s has issues which won’t be solved immediately. She may be a criminal or have serious life lessons to learn. You can try to understand that a Higher Power could be at work in some way which could teach her and possibly you something. Head to the Teen Central website and click the Learn tab then Spirituality to learn more.
HELP YOURSELF:
- What are the negative ways your husband’s sister’s bad behavior affect your own life in the future?
- How can you prevent your husband’s sister from making your life even more difficult?
- If you can’t change your husband’s sister’s behavior and your husband won’t listen to you about it is your relationship with them a waste of time?
- How important is your own life to you as an individual?
