Ok so do you know that feeling when you KNOW you don’t belong? Well I get that feeling from all my friends. And I like like at least one friend and it’s weird because I feel like nobody accepts !e for who I am. Should I just be myself or should I continue putting on a costume? I sometimes wonder how people are accepted. Also how do I kindly tell people that I don’t want to be their friends anymore? Cause some girls are just toxic. And how can I ask somebody out without getting embarrassed? Because I have liked this guy for about 3 years now and he keeps dropping hints that he liked me and we are both single. Can you give some instructions?
HELP YOURSELF?
- Thank you for reaching out to Teen Central for support – we hope that we can reassure you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Feeling alone or lonely has nothing to do with who is around – and you are not the first person to say that you are lonely. We hope that you take some time to explore the resources and help available on our site to find what you’re looking for, especially other people’s STORIES!
- Being yourself often means being sure that someone will accept everything about you – the good, the bad and everything in between. No one is perfect, but lots of people fool themselves into believing they have to be perfect to be liked and accepted. You don’t have to be perfect. Being a true friend means things like not judging the other person, wanting the best for them, not making them feel bad with words or actions. Can you make a list of things that are important to you as qualities in a friend? Once you do that, consider who in your life has a good number of those qualities. They could be the people that you give your time and energy in becoming stronger friends, while letting the ones that don’t have a lot of qualities be more like acquaintances (people that you say hi to, but don’t share things or spend time with them). Having 1 or 2 really good friends will feel better than having 10 “fake friends”.
- Being your own friend is even more important. Before you invest all this time and energy in finding and creating connections, check yourself – do you know what’s awesome about you? There are lots of ways to do this! Spend time doing things you enjoy or you know you are good at – art, music, reading, writing, going outside, sports, video games, anything! Learning to appreciate your strengths and the wonderful things about you will help get you through times that others aren’t around. Check out the WHAT’S NEW section for information about journaling, and the TOOLS section for a Daily Positive Reminder.
CONSIDER THIS:
- You asked a great question about letting go of “friends” that feel toxic. We’re so glad you asked because it shows you know you don’t have to accept negative people in your life! Consider if you can be honest and polite when they say something hurtful, something like “that’s not how I feel about that” or “what you’re saying is really not ok with me”. Limit the time you spend with them – your time is yours to spend, and as long as you’re not disrespectful, you have nothing to feel sorry about if you turn down an invite to hang out (in person or online).
- There’s no one best way to ask someone out – it would be so much easier if there was! You have to be a little brave, and willing to hear “no thanks” just as much as you want to hear “yes!” Also, remember all those things that are awesome about you? They don’t go away if someone doesn’t like you the same way. So, with those things in mind, when you feel ready, come up with something you two could do together and ask him to join you. It’s a little more difficult to spend time together right now because of COVID – so don’t forget hanging out online playing a game, watching a movie or talking are also options.
- There may be people in your life that you haven’t considered being friends with that are ready and waiting with lots of the qualities that you look for. Consider expanding your search for friends to people that you know in your neighborhood, your religious center, family members or family friends.
