I feel like my family is so unsupportive of me and it drives me crazy. They say they support me, but then their actions are so contradicting. During 2020 I had a really hard time talking to others and started ghosting the-m. Instead of asking if I was okay they lashed out at me for -not talking to them. I felt horrible. I wouldn’t go outside over how unmotivated I was. So many thoughts flooded my brain at one time. My mom knew I was depressed but since then she’s done almost nothing to help. I can fully express myself with other people, but I feel as though I’d be ashamed to actually seek help. Like I was in some sort of trouble. I then started to seek some sort of escape from the pain, so I looked to cutting. After I told my mom I wasn’t religious she lashed out at me, pulled my hair and then she hugged me. I was so confused. After she left the room I’d hurt myself really bad with a small blade I had. After that I quit for a year but now I’m back at the same place I started. She also got mad at me for trying to cope in a healthy way, which is cycling, but she stopped me and yelled at me and told me to stay inside. When I stayed inside she yelled at me again and started to push me out the door. I went upstairs and took some pills hoping I would die, but I knew the dose I took wouldn’t kill me. I wrote a suicide note even and joked about getting a pink coffin. I just want to be happy the way I am but if people are striking me down time and time again I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I feel hopeless and take risks just to feel something. I also binge eat most of the time. Does this mean I’m stressed all the time? Also my brother, aunt and stepdad ridicule me for my body and how I am so.
Help Yourself
- It sounds like you have many different thoughts and feelings running around your head at a frantic pace. Maybe we can help.
- The first, most important thing to address is your safety. You stated that you’ve taken pills in the past. If you’re feeling like you want to end your life, please consider talking to a trusted adult in your life, or call 9-1-1 immediately. If you don’t feel you have anyone to talk to, consider calling the hotline below
National Suicide Hotline
Available 24/7
Helps individuals in suicidal crisis with support
1-800-273-8255
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
- With regard to feeling supported and expressing yourself, have you tried sitting down with members of your family to explain how you’re feeling and what you need? If you feel they aren’t listening, have you tried talking with another trusted adult who may be able to help with talking to your family? Do you have a counselor, therapist, teacher, coach or pastor that may be able to help you? Have you talked to anyone about your self harm?
Consider This
- If you haven’t already, you may want to try looking at some of the topics and tools on our website. We have topics in our “LEARN” section that include information on things like depression, body image and wellness that you may find helpful. We also have our “TOOLS” tab that includes specific tools for working with depression, coping skills, creating support systems, etc. that you may also like as well.
- Have you tried adding some new activities that you haven’t tried before? Are you into activities such as walking, jogging or yoga, or maybe arts and crafts? Painting, chalks, drawing, scrapbooking might be something that would interest you when you need something to lower your anxiety and keep you interested.
- Have you ever tried journaling? It’s often recommended as an outlet for feelings. Journals are great in that you can say whatever you want without any fear of judgement, and then you can go back later when you’re in a better place and see what was going on at that time. It may help you understand yourself a little bit better while you’re trying to figure things out.
