Hi. My partner once stated that it is a boyfriend’s job to help her with money each month and I want to know if this is right or wrong. I usually give her $100 a month for clothes and food. I would prefer not to but I feel the need to help because my partner is receiving little money from her job.
Consider this:
- Financial concerns can be a very difficult topic to discuss in any relationship. You are smart and perceptive for questioning a situation where you feel uncomfortable. You should never feel intimidated or pressure into feeling like you should give your partner money. Supporting your partner financially is a decision you can make based on your specific circumstances and also feeling content or comfortable with that decision.
- In a relationship, the concept of supporting the other person may be a large consideration; to include several different factors such as emotional, physical and/or financial help. Every relationship is unique and it is important to try to maintain an open dialogue between each other to find the best dynamic.
- Try to have a positive discussion with your partner to let them know how you feel. Attempt to keep the focus of the discussion towards wanting to maintain a healthy relationship and removing any negative feelings such as contempt or resentment. It may be beneficial to practice the conversation you want to have beforehand with a trusted family member, friend or counselor.
- You could try to look into other ways you could support your partner. She may need help to find a more financially-stable job. Helping around the house or running errands could give her time to look into other career opportunities. Again, this may be a good topic to bring up in a discussion with your partner.
- Always consider if you are happy with the overall relationship. If the association feels destructive or you feel like you are being used, it may be useful to step back to analysis the imperative characteristics you are looking for in a partner.
Help Yourself:
- What are some other ways you could support your partner instead of financially?
- What would you say if you had a friend approach you with a similar problem?
- What would happen if you try to talk to your partner about your financial concern and giving her money each month?
- What would your partner do if you said you would no longer give her money?
- Overall, happy are you in this relationship?
