I used to have this girlfriend.. she was toxic in my mom’s opinion, and I am starting to see that she is. The thing is, I’m addicted, I guess. I need help getting this thought out of my head and out of my life. She makes me happy but at the same time I know someday I will get hurt! I’ve been through a lot of trauma and lost a lot of trust in people, but I can easily see the bad in them. How do I fix this situation without it tearing me and my family apart? Because this is also turning into a problem with my family and I don’t want to burn bridges again!!!
CONSIDER THIS:
- Being in a toxic relationship can make you feel intense and unhealthy emotions. You are smart for questioning your feelings for this girl and trying to find a way out of the relationship even though it’s slowly destroying your life.
- A toxic person can be manipulative, controlling, start unnecessary fights and provoke your emotions in the most negative ways. It could help a lot to learn exactly what a toxic relationship is so you can avoid a lot of trouble later on. You may do research on the subject or ask a therapist about this. Most people who know better would rather avoid getting stuck in this type of situation with someone else.
- People often get trapped in toxic relationships for selfish reasons or because they weren’t taking the situation seriously enough. Maybe they initially liked each others appearance or felt other petty feelings towards each other. You can try examining relationships around you. Toxic relationships involve intense disrespect bordering on hate.
- In order to escape this toxic girl, you may want to seriously consider what she’s doing to you. It may help to write down it down. For example, would you be happy if you had kids with her in the future? Would you feel stuck with someone you might learn to hate later on?
- You can find something else to focus on to get your mind off this girl. Focusing on goals is a great way to gain confidence, self-respect and new, positive friends. You can try getting involved in a sport, school club or take lessons to learn a musical instrument. It also might help to focus on homework so you can prepare for the best future for you. You can try creative activities like drawing, painting or listening to music.
- Another way to bring meaning into your life is by volunteering. Some great organizations for teens include Reading is Fundamental, American Red Cross and National Park Service.
- You may want to question whether you even like this girl as a person. Maybe you only like her because she boosts your ego? Or because she’s pretty or popular? Does she really matter if she’d destroy your life?
- If the right person came along right now would you still want to be with this toxic girl or would you toss her aside for someone you could genuinely be in love with? Could she easily end the relationship she has with you if she found someone better?
- It might help to learn to love your own life more than you like this girl. Learn self-love by respecting yourself. If someone doesn’t respect you as a human being then they aren’t good enough for you. If you be yourself you can find a real girlfriend to love and who will love you in return.
- Toxic girls often enjoy taking advantage of a guys weaknesses. You might want to think about how much she might be manipulating and controlling you when you least expect it. It may help to seriously consider her true intentions and question how much she might be using you.
- You may want to consider how important your family is in comparison to your girlfriend. Would they be hurt if you chose her over them? Does your family love you more than she does?
HELP YOURSELF:
- Is this girl worth the time you are spending in your life?
- How would the right person affect your life?
- Can you seriously consider the pros and cons of your relationship with this toxic girl and write them down?
- In what other ways can you commit to ending your relationship with your toxic girlfriend?
