I’m 18 and I’ve never wanted my life. So I often turn to suicide. Yeah, i know it is bad but it’s how I feel. I’m gay, but feel like I have an attraction to girls (confused), I feel like people watch and listen to me (confused), and I stare at myself in the mirror going back and forth with whether I’m ugly or not (confused). Also there’s so much more I overthink about and I don’t want to stop. I call overthinking my super power because it is, I’m H.G. I came up with a religion centered around me sacrificing myself, just to help me go through with killing myself. But it became real to me and it just won’t leave. I’m trying to forget but H.G. is always there so I know it’s a big possibility I might try killing myself again. The fact that I believe in the made up religion makes it hard for me to even care about whether I die or not. I have dreams and hopes but now my biggest one is finding out whether she’s real or not.
CONSIDER THIS
- Being in this place of confusion is something that many people go through. Knowing that you are not alone can help.
- Speaking to a trusted friend or adult can help you to sort out the feelings you are having.
- You have a very unique and special mind and that can be used in a positive way. Maybe you can write down your feelings to help you process through what is going on inside and around you to help you understand and feel less confused.
- Doing something kind and loving for yourself can help with feelings of confusion. You may want to try going for walks in nature, studying about different religions that intrigue you, hanging out with your friends and doing something fun together.
- If you feel still feel the need to harm yourself please contact CHILD HELP USA 1-800-422-4453 to talk with someone on your feelings. You are important and wanted in this world.
HELP YOURSELF
- What would happen if you talked with a trusted adult or counselor that you feel safe with about your feelings of self harm?
- What positive things could happen with writing down how you are feeling concerning your confusion?
- What are some nice and kind activities that you can do to help you feel special?
- What would happen if you contacted CHILD HELP USA 1-800-422-4453?
